Wednesday, April 28, 2010

6 Days

Turns out six days is all it takes to turn your world upside down. We had been frantically and excitedly preparing for a little boy to enter our lives this week, and are sad to report that that will not be happening.

Up until yesterday everything looked good, we had conferenced with our lawyer in SC, and were on track to pick him up in a few days. Yesterday afternoon, our case worker Jean called with bad news. The birthmother had not be forthcoming about her prenatal care, and in fact, had had none. Her only visit was a month ago at 35 weeks, where she was told that the baby had multiple birth defects. She received no care after that, until yesterday when she went to the hospital to deliver. Knowing (or not knowing) that there were going to be many unanswered questions about his health, we decided to wait until he was delivered to make any decisions. He was born by c-section this morning, and weighed in at a healthy 7lbs 2ozs. He has spina bifida (his spinal cord is exposed outside of his body) and hydrocephaly (fluid putting pressure on his brain). Both of these are correctable to some extent, but his long term health is a big question mark. He underwent surgery this afternoon to attempt to correct both of these problems.

There were many legal difficulties to overcome when this was a healthy adoption. Now that he's certain to be in the hospital for several months, we were advised (and reluctantly agree) that a local SC family would be better for him. They can visit and care for him on a daily basis- something that we wouldn't have been able to manage due to distance and legal issues stemming from being in another state. The new family was notified this afternoon.

That being said, I'm in quite a state. We've done nothing but celebrate with you for 5 days, and now all I feel is a tremendous sense of loss. We know that you all love us, and will pray for our peace and comfort. Right now it's too hard to talk about it, so please let us lie low for a couple days while we get our bearings again. The Lord will bless us with our righteous desires- it just wasn't meant to be this time.

Elisa and Daron

14 comments:

Erin said...

My heart truly goes out to you and Daron. You guys are so loved.

Eva said...

Saying a prayer for you and Daron. We love you and hope for comfort and peace over these next hard days.
Know that you are loved...very much.

Lisa said...

My heart is breaking...I don't know what to say. But you'll be in our thoughts, prayers and fasting this Sunday. I love you Elisa...and Daron too! Please take care of yourselves.

Shelly said...

love you, love you, love you.

Sarah said...

Sending a big hug and a small prayer your way. We love you.

cat said...

My heart is breaking as well. You will be in my prayers. I wish I could give you both big hugs.

Colleen said...

We are so sorry to hear your news. We are heartbroken for you as we've been there and it sucks and requires so much faith-more than you think you have. You are on our prayers. If you want to chat or cry I'm here for you.

Three Little Brown Kids said...

So sorry....

Gail said...

What a disappointment. I'm so sorry. Grief is hard work; take your time.

Heather said...

Oh you guys, sending love and hugs and prayers your way. So Sorry!

Catherine said...

The tears just havn't stopped coming---probably won't for awhile. I love you sis! More importantly, the Lord loves you annd knows of your broken heart.

Heather McKeon said...

I'm so sorry.

Jenny said...

I am so sorry. Please know we love you guys and are here for you.

Stewart Family Blog said...

Sometimes the darkest clouds turn out to have silver linings... We commiserate with your disappointment, mourn your loss and pray that there will be a 'silver' day soon...
Love, Uncle Phil