Thursday, November 13, 2008

Rumble at the Cannery - Or Why I'll Never Move to Pineville

Leave it to me and Eva (and our Relief Society president, Donna) to get into an altercation at the church cannery. It all started out innocently enough- we had an appointment, we show up for our appointment, we listen to a very inspiring introduction from Sister Polous about how we are fulfilling the Lord's commandment by being there... All very exciting. Once the closing prayer was finished, things quickly deteriorated into chaos! I've never seen such frantic, paranoid, every-man-for-himself behavior out of church members in my entire life! Apparently, there are two methods to using our cannery: You can show up and buy bulk off the shelves, or you can help everyone can their orders, and take home the exact number of cans that you want. We didn't sign up to help with cans, we were only interested in buying bulk off the shelves. Apparently us "bulk buying" people rubbed the "can" people the wrong way. There must be some sort of food shortage of Ethiopian proportions in the Pineville ward (where the heck is Pineville?!), because their self proclaimed pack leader "Lisa" proceeds to tell us that we're taking all their food. Excuse me? Come again? She accusingly eyes our cart full of bulk items, like we are hijacking it right out from under them. (Get away from my potato pearls!) She also eyes our stack of empty cans, and makes the snide comment about "good thing we're not rationing cans..." THEN..... "What are you doing, buying the rest at COSTCO?" Ooooooooh evil!!! She then proceeds to tell me that the 25 pound bag of milk that I have on the cart was meant for their ward. Oh really? Because I see it on my cart. Keep in mind, while this snarky woman is attacking us, there is absolute pandemonium going on. There isn't a lot of room in the cannery, but it's as if the "can" people were so afraid we were going to buy their food out from under them, that they just started canning FASTER. And then even FASTER!! How someone didn't lose a finger in the lid sealer, I'll never know. Needless to say, I can never move to the Pineville ward. Because, if I ever had to live the law of consecration with "Lisa," I think I might go hungry....

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Way We Roll - Part 2

As I post this, I'm reflecting on some bittersweet moments- Moments like the one when you realize that you bragged A LOT about your costumes, only to be outdone by the Carliles ONCE AGAIN. Bittersweet, because I DID WIN best female costume, but Daron came home empty-handed... After all, he was sushi! And I was just a side of soy sauce. Albeit, I was the cutest, sauciest soy sauce there that night, but oh well. We took the trophy and ran, and will re-launch our assault next year. (Well, I ran..Daron couldn't run anywhere)... We had a blast, and the rest of the ward did too... Did I mention that the kids had fun punching the sushi in the stomach?
(Although I had many people tell me this was the "cut" for me (for real?), this is NOT my real hair, or color..)
Our biggest tactical error was underestimating the "cute factor" of working a baby into your costume strategy. Having the Carliles position their spawn as the "Slimer" to their "Ghostbusters" was brilliant...

Kim isn't pictured here, but her costume was exactly like Ken's. Nice job Carliles!

Notice the ridiculous amount of detail in the "pack"..... Is that a Sprite bottle?

These are our friends, the Rabideau's and the Lung's. Let me tell you, there's nothing funnier than a mormon kid throwing gang signs in the church. West Siiide!

In closing, I've got a little riddle for ya: If Japanese people eat Sushi, what does Sushi eat?? Hot Dogs apparently..... Who knew?