Turns out six days is all it takes to turn your world upside down. We had been frantically and excitedly preparing for a little boy to enter our lives this week, and are sad to report that that will not be happening.
Up until yesterday everything looked good, we had conferenced with our lawyer in SC, and were on track to pick him up in a few days. Yesterday afternoon, our case worker Jean called with bad news. The birthmother had not be forthcoming about her prenatal care, and in fact, had had none. Her only visit was a month ago at 35 weeks, where she was told that the baby had multiple birth defects. She received no care after that, until yesterday when she went to the hospital to deliver. Knowing (or not knowing) that there were going to be many unanswered questions about his health, we decided to wait until he was delivered to make any decisions. He was born by c-section this morning, and weighed in at a healthy 7lbs 2ozs. He has spina bifida (his spinal cord is exposed outside of his body) and hydrocephaly (fluid putting pressure on his brain). Both of these are correctable to some extent, but his long term health is a big question mark. He underwent surgery this afternoon to attempt to correct both of these problems.
There were many legal difficulties to overcome when this was a healthy adoption. Now that he's certain to be in the hospital for several months, we were advised (and reluctantly agree) that a local SC family would be better for him. They can visit and care for him on a daily basis- something that we wouldn't have been able to manage due to distance and legal issues stemming from being in another state. The new family was notified this afternoon.
That being said, I'm in quite a state. We've done nothing but celebrate with you for 5 days, and now all I feel is a tremendous sense of loss. We know that you all love us, and will pray for our peace and comfort. Right now it's too hard to talk about it, so please let us lie low for a couple days while we get our bearings again. The Lord will bless us with our righteous desires- it just wasn't meant to be this time.
Elisa and Daron
Saturday, April 24, 2010
So, a lot of you have heard, and most you haven't- We're tried to call and let a lot of you know...
WE'RE GETTING A BABY!
We got the call yesterday morning, and not only are we getting a baby, he's due in 9 days! May 3rd is his due date, but you know how these things go. We're preparing so that we can leave about any time. We don't know a lot about the situation, as the birthparents wish for a closed adoption. We know that he is healthy and has had excellent prenatal care. We know that he is caucasian, but beyond that... nothing. We won't know anything about the family beyond the little bit of family medical history that will be provided to us.
People keep asking about showers, etc. I can't even wrap my brain around this yet, much less contemplate a shower. I am excited to have one, and will enjoy it much more after we are home for a week or two. My go-to girl Sherri is taking charge of that, so if you'd like to help, or want an invite, please email her at email@example.com. She'll hook you up with all the pertinent info.
This isn't a done deal. Please pray for a healthy delivery, and that the Spirit may comfort his birthmother throughout the process. I can't imagine being in her shoes right now. She has a final doctor's appointment on Tuesday that will hopefully help us narrow down our departure date.
Thank you for all the well-wishes, and we will keep you posted as we know more!