Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dog Ramblings

Dear Mom and Dad,

Just a quick post to let you know that I’m glad you let me come to live with you. Six years ago this summer I was born, and came to live at the Hacienda. You found me at the flea market, and Mom said I was the cutest one. I heard her say it! When Mom says that “puppy picked us,” it’s true. And Dad, I’ve heard you say that you got totally ripped off that day, but it’s not true! I was a total bargain. Think of all the love and home defense I’ve provided over the years. Yes, I know that I have my moments. I can’t help myself from eating the wild onions that grow in the backyard, and give me horrendous and uncontrollable gas. And you know that it’s my duty to bark, even though the doorbell is only on TV. Yes, I do know that I have a habit of “leaving my mark” on totally inappropriate places. (Like Dad’s garage). I only do it to teach you a lesson. The lesson that, “ I will not be ignored!” Wow, that was very Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction of me, but you know what I mean. I appreciate that mom leaves the TV on for me, so I don’t get lonely downstairs. I also know that the endless supply of cookies, and chewies, and snacks have made me obese, and that Mom loves me anyway. More belly to scratch, right? BTW, that wasn’t cool that the vet called me “Fatty McGee.” Not cool at all.

Dad, I know you care deep down. Every time you call me “Fats” or “Tubby” or “Stinkzor” that you really like me. You wouldn’t bounce that ball that practically gives me a seizure if you didn’t! Unless you ARE trying to give me a seizure… but I’m going to take the high road, and insist that both my parents love me. But most especially, mom. So thanks for all the good times…

Peace out people. These squirrels aren’t going to chase themselves.

Skipper

3 comments:

Catherine said...

Hillarious! It would figure that Skipper would have a sense of humor. He has to to survive in that household1

The Lindners said...

From one dog to another- enough with the name calling. Where is the gratitude for keeping the feet warm and providing the people with someone to blame th gas on? Sorry about the garage exile, brother, at least I get full run of the house. Try and cut down on the Pupperoni, Tubbs.
Jack

Sarah said...

ahahahaa.