Thursday, November 13, 2008

Rumble at the Cannery - Or Why I'll Never Move to Pineville


Leave it to me and Eva (and our Relief Society president, Donna) to get into an altercation at the church cannery. It all started out innocently enough- we had an appointment, we show up for our appointment, we listen to a very inspiring introduction from Sister Polous about how we are fulfilling the Lord's commandment by being there... All very exciting. Once the closing prayer was finished, things quickly deteriorated into chaos! I've never seen such frantic, paranoid, every-man-for-himself behavior out of church members in my entire life! Apparently, there are two methods to using our cannery: You can show up and buy bulk off the shelves, or you can help everyone can their orders, and take home the exact number of cans that you want. We didn't sign up to help with cans, we were only interested in buying bulk off the shelves. Apparently us "bulk buying" people rubbed the "can" people the wrong way. There must be some sort of food shortage of Ethiopian proportions in the Pineville ward (where the heck is Pineville?!), because their self proclaimed pack leader "Lisa" proceeds to tell us that we're taking all their food. Excuse me? Come again? She accusingly eyes our cart full of bulk items, like we are hijacking it right out from under them. (Get away from my potato pearls!) She also eyes our stack of empty cans, and makes the snide comment about "good thing we're not rationing cans..." THEN..... "What are you doing, buying the rest at COSTCO?" Ooooooooh evil!!! She then proceeds to tell me that the 25 pound bag of milk that I have on the cart was meant for their ward. Oh really? Because I see it on my cart. Keep in mind, while this snarky woman is attacking us, there is absolute pandemonium going on. There isn't a lot of room in the cannery, but it's as if the "can" people were so afraid we were going to buy their food out from under them, that they just started canning FASTER. And then even FASTER!! How someone didn't lose a finger in the lid sealer, I'll never know. Needless to say, I can never move to the Pineville ward. Because, if I ever had to live the law of consecration with "Lisa," I think I might go hungry....

9 comments:

cat said...

Wow! At least you got out of there alive!

Heather McKeon said...

Hilarious! Oh to have been a fly on the wall for that one!

Shelly said...

That's hilarious! Now I know why I've never been to the canary! Still working on christmas tix...but so dang much!!!

Rabideau Family said...

hahahahahahahaha!

Catherine said...

Elisa, nothing has changed since childhood. Just like the time you stood up to the inept McDonalds employee that wouldn't give me my Happy Meal toy, you are still one tough chick, make that one tough funny chick! It just cracks me up that it all happened at the epitomy of all Molly Mormon hang-outs--the cannery. Love ya!

The Lindners said...

Classic! Maybe someone tainted their powdered milk with crack! You should've whipped out your camera and recorded it- Remember the time with Brenda Law? Even Mormons need to release their frustrations!

diana said...

You should have "accidentally" tripped her in the aisle while saying "take that sista"... at least that's how we roll in the OC.

Harry said...

LOL....I can't believe this. I'm in the Pineville Ward and I know all about this! Now I know the other side of the story and I'm sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

I can't tell the story from their point of view, but my neighbor can as he was there.

I've just to laugh.

Harry said...
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