Friday, July 16, 2010

Young Blood

Yesterday’s post was about how “old” I am. True, I no longer have that roaring metabolism, or ability to stay awake for three days existing on Mountain Dew and Cheetos. What I have retained are some youthful habits and pursuits; some helpful, some ridiculous. Mostly embarrassing. Buuuuutttt, since my readership demands humorous and self-deprecating posts, I’ll compile a real-life, completely true list of some of the things that keep me young. (read: immature)

* I eat all the marshmallows first out of my bowl of Lucky Charms. Only then do I reluctantly eat the little sawdust puffs that remain.
* I drive as fast as I did at 15, when my parents so wisely bought me a ’76 Camaro for a “first” car. Coincidentally, that’s also when I learned you could cry to get out of a ticket.
* I still rate my Saturdays as “good,” “better,” “best,” depending on whether I got to sleep in or not. And how long.
* I sneak contraband into the movies. Once in High School I managed a whole Jack in the Box combo meal, but my personal adult best is a 44oz soda, and king size box of Mike and Ikes. And not in a big purse, but a small purse with a hoodie draped jauntily over my arm. A bold move, if I do say so.
* We tape and watch ‘Penguins of Madagascar ‘ religiously.
* Two words: HELLO KITTY (The husband, who clearly does not understand the obsession has veto’ed the Hello Kitty themed bathroom. So rude.)
* Am currently working my way through LEGO: Harry Potter for XBOX360. Also own Lego Batman, Lego Star Wars, and Lego Indiana Jones.
* Will hop on a plane in a heartbeat to go meet my friends at a concert. The desire has always been there, but having an adult income has afforded me the means to do so. Not to mention, no parentals to tell me how frivolous and excessive this hobby of mine has become. (Has anyone seen the show ‘Intervention?’ Watch for me next season..) This all started with a Rush concert when I was 18, and 13 of us pooled enough money to get ONE room at a Motel 6 in Albuquerque. Where did we all sleep? There was no sleep. (See comment above re: Mountain Dew and Cheetos). Just a warning from the manager that we were no longer welcome at the SIX’er on Montgomery Blvd.
****SIDEBAR: Have seen RUSH in concert 21 times. Next month in Las Vegas will make 22.
* The word “moist” still makes me snicker. Keep in mind, I hear this word at LEAST once a day in my current profession.
* Last family gathering taught my sister’s little boys, 4 and 6, how to make the West Side gang signs. “West Saaayyeeed!” (Bloods was too hard- their little fingers aren’t that nimble. Don’t worry, copious amounts of XBOX will fix that.)
* Stayed up waaaaaay too late last night playing Texas Hold ‘Em on Facebook. On a schoolnight. Rationalized it by telling myself I'd make up the sleep on Saturday.
* Will sometimes open the bag of powdered donuts in the store, because I can’t wait until checkout.
* I laugh uncontrollably when I’m scared. I went through a “haunted woods” last year for Halloween, and I think they thought I was special.
* I have at one time, craved Krispy Kreme at 1am. My female roommates being more cautious (read: smarter) than I was, made me call a male friend to bodyguard us downtown. That bodyguard is now my husband, who these days will not take me out of the house at 1am for ANYTHING. Not even if the house was on fire, and there were $100 bills blowing down the street.

This post could go on ad-nauseum, and I’m losing self respect the longer I go on. In closing, I’ll give you one more reason that I couldn’t possibly be considered a real adult: At 7am this morning, I ate a piece of Kim Carlile’s birthday cake for breakfast. A generous piece. And when I say piece, I should clarify that I didn’t cut myself a piece. I ate it right out of the container like a Neanderthal. I learned that bachelor “why-dirty-a-plate?” trick from Daron. The upside to sugar at 7am, is that it has the same effect that it did when I was 6. The down side is that it had the same effect that it did when I was 6: I had oodles of energy until about 9:30, and have been dragging hiney ever since.

Naptime yet? Have a good weekend everyone….



Suebee said...

Moist made me giggle out loud when I thought of your occupation.

katie said...

your blog posts are great! they just cracked me up:) You are awesome!

Catherine said...

Oh sister, little tears are now dripping down my face from laughter--I love you----despite the whole gang sign incident. BTW Rebecca got mad at me this weekend for eating marshmallows out of her box of lucky charms.