The Barnes Family Blog

Bastrop Fire 2011

2011-09-09T10:16:00.009-04:00

As of last Sunday, Texas was currently in the middle of the worst drought in 100 years. 80+ days of 100 degree or above temperatures. -And my parents live in the middle of a pine forest, rendered a veritable tinderbox by the drought. Concern for fire was high, and Sunday the inevitable happened. Several miles south of my parents home, a fire ignited- sparking a firestorm that would ultimately become 24 miles long, and 20 miles wide. A fire so large, you could see it from space. (picture below) Mom and Dad heard a knock on the door- a fireman asking them to leave immediately. Not soon. Not eventually. Right now. Mom grabbed her dog Woody, and her laptop. They left without clothes, medicine, or any essentials. Certainly no photo albums, nor keepsakes.. They gathered in the parking lot of a store, in a safe area of town, along with other members of their ward. As the night dragged on, families split off to go stay with relatives, or find lodging somewhere safe. Not until next day dawned, did anyone comprehend the size and scope of how large this fire had become. My parents drove about 20 miles north to stay with my sister Catherine, and have been there ever since. News reporting was spotty, to say the least, and the information that was reaching people was vague and upsetting. "Fire is 0% contained" is something that makes your stomach sink. As the days dragged on, my parents and the rest of us came to grips with the fact that the house was no longer there. Eyewitness reports from anywhere close to their area said that "there's nothing left." Below is a photo taken from a hard-hit area near my parents subdivision: People are so anxious to return, and I'm not sure there's anything that could prepare you for a sight like the one above. The beautiful pine trees that the residents cherish in this area are utterly destroyed.

As people waited desperately for information, a Facebook phenomenon happened. Several pages dedicated to sharing information were formed out of necessity. A person here and a person there knew someone in a position of authority that would be willing to check on a certain house. This trickle of information started on Facebook, and a few good firefighters and authorities took their own time to canvas neighborhoods to report on the few structures still standing. Thousands of people joined these pages, and my brother and sister and I became (almost obsessively) involved in getting this information cross-posted and shared with residents. We became acquainted with so many neighbors and friends, and formed a tight-knit community dedicated to taking care of and supporting each other. I personally pored over list after list trying to help residents determine if their home was still standing. I'm sad and sick that I was the one to share devastating news with so many people- not just on my parents street, but in the several neighborhoods surrounding them. To date, over 1600 homes have burned. The worst loss in Texas history. More incredible to me is that this fire was only national news for the first two days. The suffering and needs of these families are great, and it's now a struggle to find anything but local Austin news coverage of it.

Finally, Tuesday night a miracle happened. The bishop was able to gain access with law enforcement and check on my parents house. You've never heard such sweet words as "it's still there!" The real miracle is trying to comprehend how a fire 20 miles wide parted like the Red Sea, and spared a single house. The neighboring houses are all gone. Before I show you a picture of the house, let me show you their street- you may see trees in the photos, but the homes and structures underneath are all burned out:

How is it possible that this house survived?

It wasn't without damage, but it's still standing. And that's an answer to many many anguished prayers. The workshop is gone, as are the sailboat and camper. Basically, anything that was on the property that wasn't the house itself is gone. There will be a lot of work to do on the house itself, but structurally it's still sound.

Residents still are not allowed access, and the power to this poor little house isn't scheduled to be back on for another 3 weeks. I see a new refrigerator in Mom's future! I'm glad I won't be the one cleaning that out....

Ultimately, this has been a week of many emotions. I've been devastated, worried, and sick to my stomach. Since helping others with the information effort, I've felt compassion and pity. In trying to wrap my brain around the sheer miracle and blessing of it all, I've been overcome with gratitude and humility. Not to mention, sheer relief and elation! Also, a renewed resolve to put my own affairs in order, so that my own little family will be better prepared in an emergency situation.

As a side note, it's tempting to think that maybe my parents were spared because of great faith, or the power of prayer. And while this could possibly be true in their case, most of the families in their ward were not so lucky. Sadly, a very large percentage lost their homes. Adversity and trials come to us all, and I'll be grateful if I never have to see such a trial as losing everything.

Thank you to everyone who hung in there with our family, and prayed so fervently for a good outcome. What tremendous and wondrous blessings our family has experienced this week! (I'm exhausted!)

Elisa

Six months old!

2011-09-08T11:48:00.002-04:00

Want to know who is Six months old today??? -----> THIS GUY <-----
Some fun facts:
1. I suck on my washcloth in the tub, and scream when mom takes it away
2. I'm Daddy's little buddy, and the apple of Mom's eye. They love me!
3. I like to snuggle in the morning before everyone starts getting ready.
4. If it's smaller than my fist, I'm going to put it in my mouth.
5. Drool. Constantly. See photo above. Bibs are my new accessory.
6. Awkwardly in between 6 month and 9 month sizes.
7. Peek a Boo is this hysterical game that only works for Dad. Mom, not so funny.
8. I'm a happy boy, and not much gets me crabby. I'm a delightful child!

My family is coming out for my blessing and sealing next week. I just cant wait to see everyone!

Happy First Father's Day!

2011-06-20T09:30:00.003-04:00

Doesn't this look like the face of a good dad? I think so! I posted this picture to remind you what Daron looks like. So much of my photo documentation these days seems to go like this: Thanks Daron for being such a good Daddy! For loving this boy as much as I do, and for making sure we have everything we need to be healthy and happy. So what if your idea of babysitting includes a little XBOX time? I like to think of you as a multi-tasker!

Bottom line- We love you and are looking forward to many more Father's Day's with you!

Love,

Elisa and Jack

More Jack? You got it...

2011-06-02T12:08:00.003-04:00

Jack has his own blog now:

http://www.jackhappenings.blogspot.com

Due to huge demand for a daily dose of the little bugger, we are going to try to keep it updated a couple times a week. Keep checking this blog for the usual Barnes Family musings and adventures.

3 Months!

2011-06-01T08:45:00.005-04:00

Let me make a little confession: Being a mom is every bit as awesome as I thought it would be. It's hard work, and I'm tired a lot of the time, but this "new normal" that we've settled into is pretty darn satisfying. These days, Jack sleeps more, smiles more, and coos constantly. How could anyone resist that?

At 3 months:
1. Still hates the swing. Heaven knows I'm still trying, because I have a hard time spending $167 on a torture mechanism.
2. We're firmly into the 3-6 month clothing range. I cried like a little girl going though his drawer and weeding out all the outgrown outfits and onsies. What's worse is that I now realize I'll have to go through this every couple of months.
3. Jack gets bored easily. He seems to need/love constant stimulation, usually in the form of being held, and walked around face forward. He won't sit and chill out, he needs to be moving. Especially outside.
4. Bathtime has suddenly done a 180 degree turn. He still loves the bath, but instead of relaxing and falling asleep, he will kick and thrash like he's trying to swim. He's smiling the whole time, so I'm guessing it's very enjoyable for him.
5. At his last checkup, he weighed exactly 12 lbs, and is measuring at the 60th percentile for growth. I feel like he's huge, but he's pretty average as babies go.

As far as the blogging goes, we've just been trying to keep our head above water. It all started about a month ago, when Jack started coughing. At first, it seemed like just a little tickle, and then quickly deteriorated into racking fits that kept him up all night long. Of course, to lay there and listen to him was maddening, knowing that you couldn't do much for him. He soon became stuffy, and was introduced to saline and the brain sucker (sounds like a good name for a band). If he wasn't pitiful before, the brain sucker made him crrrazy. He screamed bloody murder, but at least he could breathe a little better afterward. Between monitoring his fever, and keeping him hydrated and comfortable, I don't think I slept for a week. Hence, my weakened immunity. Hence, the horrible cold I then contracted. Hence, the horrible cold Daron contracted. At one point, we were so sick we had to take Jack (who was now much better) down to the sitter for the day just so we could konk out on some Nyquil, and sleep the glorious drug induced sleep that only modern medication could provide. There were quite a few days of missed work, and as bad as Jack had it, I think we fared even worse. Daron improved somewhat, only to get worse again, and have a massive ear infection. He's still not quite right, but you all knew that about him.

Somewhere in all this, I celebrated my first Mother's Day! I don't mind telling you that there was some smug satifaction in finally qualifying for that Mother's Day rose at church. Sure I've received the pity-rose in years past, but I'm a card carrying Mom now!! Gimme that rose!! Jack was nice enough to give me a card, and also buy me a cute little baby booties charm for my charm bracelet. Just to be clear, that was baby BOOTIE, not booty. A little baby rump would make a weird charm.

Again, apologies for the lack of posting. We seem to be well now, and I've been doing some thinking about the blog. I think I'm going to construct a seperate blog for Jack pictures, which I will try to post to daily. Not as much writing, but it will contain the pictures that the family craves so badly. I'll keep the Barnes blog going to post our happenings and adventures. That way everyone wins! You get your daily pictures, and I don't keep putting off the blog because I haven't had time to write anything.

I'll post the new blog address as soon as I have something up for your viewing pleasure.

Elisa

Photo Shoot

2011-04-29T13:15:00.005-04:00

I've dreamed of having my friend Crickett take Jack's pictures long before he ever arrived. Last Saturday ended up being perfect. A little rainy and overcast in the morning, but warm enough to have a naked baby outside. Click on the link below to see a preview on her photography blog!

http://crickettphotography.blogspot.com/2011/04/newborn-barnes-baby.html

The cradle that Jack is sleeping in is one that my Dad made me when I was little. I've treasured it all these years, and love that we were able to use it in some of the photos. The rest of the pics will be out soon, and I'm absolutely DYING to see them!

Happy Easter!

2011-04-25T17:25:00.001-04:00

In the battle of Easter 2011, Jack emerged victorious and scored a visit from the Easter Bunny. He managed to get a couple practical items, like sunscreen, socks and jeans. More importantly, I got the photo-op that I wanted! Happy 1st Easter Jack!

6 weeks!

2011-04-22T22:23:00.001-04:00

Six weeks has flown by! In a way, it seems like much longer that Jack has been with us- Probably because our lives have completely and utterly changed in those six weeks. Every single thought of my day now revolves around taking care of him, and keeping my family and household up and running. Daron has been a indispensable partner in this parenting thing, and I think we're doing a pretty good job so far! Jack had a great checkup this week, and his pediatrician says that he's perfect. I already knew it, but confirmation is nice.

Some facts about Jack:
1. He still hates the swing.
2. He's in between sizes right now. Somewhere between NB and 0-3
3. Weighs 10.5 lbs this week
4. LOVES his bath. See below..
5. Loves to snuggle. Would rather be held than anything else.
6. Bought his first plane ticket to Grammy's house this summer!
7. Is finally sleeping a little better at night

Yep, here's Jack asleep in the tub. He got so relaxed tonight that he just konked out! I told you he loves a bath....

Elisa

Grateful

2011-04-15T11:13:00.002-04:00

I'm so grateful for this wonderful new man in my life. How could anyone not fall in love with a face like this?
On a completely unrelated note, can I make an interesting observation? Doing laundry for little people is dangerous. Imagine my shock when I plunge both arms into a hot dryer full of baby clothes, and 463 searing hot snaps burn me like fire pokers. Lesson learned- send Daron to empty the dryer next time!

Why Me?

2011-04-11T13:08:00.004-04:00

Jack must think were complete clowns. Hopefully the fun lovable kind, not the scary Steven King kind. Someone asked Daron the other day if fatherhood was going to turn him into a fuddy-duddy. "Heck no! If anything, now I have a prop!" Some unexpected things I've discovered in the last month:
1. A new kind of tired that I didn't know existed.
2. Along with that new kind of tired, the inability to sleep deeply anymore. I'm always listening for that cry in the back of my consciousness.
3. People treat you better when you have a cute baby. Cashiers, waiters, even the customer service counter at Target! They've never once been nice to me before!
4. Instant friends. Other baby-toting individuals will go out of their way to ask about your baby, how old he is, etc.
5. That motherhood will stretch you in ways you didn't expect, and you don't even mind. One word: suppository!

I thought I had a little more time before being thrown into that particular experience, but these days nothing goes according to plan.
A couple of my new favorite things:
1. Watching Jack sleep- I could do it for hours. If only he would do it for hours.. Which he doesn't. Hence, the new kind of tired.
2. Listening to Daron and Jack's heart-to-heart talks over the baby monitor.
3. Baby jammies. There's nothing cuter than a baby in pajamas. Especially after you've slicked them up in Baby Magic!
4. Jack's wide-eyed gaze when you're feeding him in the middle of the night. Like he is studying you intensely. I'd love to know what he's thinking.
5. Finally feeling like I have a family! Sure, we were a family before, but these days we feel far more complete....

Growth Spurt

2011-04-07T11:59:00.003-04:00

Jack's pediatrician in Iowa told us that he would go through a major growth spurt around week three. Can you see why I'm completely freaked out? If he continues at this rate, he will be leaving for college in the fall...
He wore these jammies less than two weeks ago.. *sigh*

Bellies and baths

2011-04-04T13:26:00.004-04:00

What a great weekend! My mom and youngest sister flew out from Austin for a few days to spend time with Jack. Oh yeah, and maybe a little time with me and Daron. We shopped, ate Carolina Barbecue, and went to Shuckers for seafood. Grandma got to give Jack a bath, which right now is most conveniently done in my shallow bathroom sink:

Aunt Catherine did the dressing:
Jack really loves getting a bath, and all these lovely ladies are more than willing to oblige him. Add in that smell of freshly applied Baby Magic, and it's a recipe for heaven. In the last couple days, Jack has turned into a marathon eater. He will pound 4 to 6 ozs at a time, and be ready to do it again two hours later. I have yet to figure out where all this milk is going, but I think I have an idea:
Jack is already outgrowing some of his newborn outfits, which makes me sad. We moved up from Newborn diapers to size 1, and those skinny little chicken legs are filling out nicely!
Yes, I know bottle-propping is bad. Yes, I know the bottle is empty. The bottle is ALWAYS empty it seems... We are slowly settling into a new routine with Jack around, and I find myself getting a little melancholy every time he reaches a new milestone. Is that normal? I want him to stay small so I can savor it longer. MUCH much longer. I feel like even though it's only been a month, I'll never get that first month back. I'm excited to see him grow and develop his personality, but this frantic pace of growing and changing has got to stop! I'm just going to have to turn into one of those weird, hovering mom's that document every little thing.
Man, I love this kid. Sleep deprivation may have clouded my judgement, but I think he might be the best thing ever.
Elisa

The new normal?

2011-03-29T10:45:00.002-04:00

What is the new normal? Exhaustion, apparently. All of you experienced mom's out there are nodding your head, and secretly are glad that another newbie has been initiated into your club. Misery loves company. If anyone leaves a comment gloating about how their newborn slept through the night at -- weeks, I'm going to cry. So, the last month has been an adventure for the record books, and we were so glad to arrive home last Thursday. Everything was as we left it, which was a huge relief to a worrier like me. That is, if you don't count the hamster that inexplicably lost all her hair (creepy). But still, it could have been much worse. We spent Thursday evening introducing Jack to his new family members, who fawned over him appropriately. Kyle was so excited to have a new cousin, that he informed Sue that she needed to have another baby. He even asked if they could take him to their house for a few days.

Friday, I summoned the energy to roll into my office to survey the damage. I left things in great hands, but sometimes you just need to see for yourself. On the way home, I stopped by BabiesRUs to pick up Jack's swing, which I was assured would be a necessity. He loves it! For about 30 seconds. Then he screams bloody murder to get out.
About Jack: Today is his three week birthday. What a little snuggle bunny! To say that he loves to be held is an understatement. I am more than willing to indulge him in this, but it could come back to haunt me. He's doing better about sleeping in his crib, but unfortunately he just doesn't feel the need to sleep that much. Combine a baby that wants to be held, with a baby that loves to be awake, and you have two very tired parents. I couldn't imagine doing this on my own! Daron has been indispensable these last few weeks. I keep telling him he is a natural at this. In fact, this is how I frequently find these two:
I brought him to work with me yesterday, and he did great. He has a little cradle that sits next to my desk, which he was content to hang out in. Keeping focused on work is difficult, but only because he is so dang cute! I just want to pick him up and love on him!
But Elisa- in all of these pics he is sleeping so peacefully! You said he didn't sleep?! -Yes, he sleeps some. I can't resist the sleepy pictures! So all the boys are home together today alone, which I think Daron was a little worried about. They will be fine, or I wouldn't have left them. At least that's what I told Daron. It took the dog a day or two to warm up, but they are thick as thieves now. Wherever Jack is, Skip drags his pillow over next to him. I hope this means they are going to be good buddies. This is how I left them this morning:
At least 3/4 of us are getting some sleep! Bottom line, we LOVE LOVE LOVE this boy, and are so excited to finally have him home! My mom and sister come out in a couple days, and I'm super excited to show him off. And maybe catch a nap? We will see...

Homecoming!!!

2011-03-23T13:12:00.001-04:00

Just a quick note to let you all know that we are on the road! There was a major holdup with our paperwork, but it seems to be resolved, and we've been given clearance to leave. Iowa was great to us! We were treated well, spent a lot of great time with Jack's biological family, and developed some lasting friendships.

Driving will take us about 17 hours, but that's not taking into account feedings and such. We are rookies when it comes to traveling with kids, so maybe our 17 hour estimate is a bit naive? We will see.

One thing I do know, is that after 22 days of hotel rooms, fast food, and living out of a suitcase, I will never take home for granted again!

Want to come meet Jack? We will be around this weekend if you want to pop in!

Elisa

- Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Three Kids... Day 14

2011-03-16T22:07:00.001-04:00

This post should really be called, "Woman! Bring me my milk!" (Jack shakes menacing baby fist)

If there's one thing Jack is good at, it's eating. Not uncommon for a newborn, I suppose. He had his one week checkup today, and charmed the pants off of his Pediatrician. I'm sure they never see cute babies there, so he must have been a breath of fresh air. He's gained a couple ounces on his birthweight, so we're right on track.

Living in a hotel room doesn't offer much diversion, but it has provided us lots of uninterrupted bonding time. These two are kindred spirits when it comes to relaxation.

They are pretty thick, these two. Daron is a champion feeder, changer, and general entertainer. I manage to get a couple hours of sleep each night because these two night owls are content to hang out together in the wee hours.

I've watched a lot of Seinfeld, so if any of you tell me I have a "snuggly" baby, I'll likely be offended. Even so, snuggling with Jack is heaven. He makes these wonderful squeaky little sounds that just melt me. If only we could get him to sleep in his crib. If you have any tips for this, let me know.

As for us, still waiting... We expect to be told in the coming days that we will be allowed to leave the state. This has been a wonderful adventure, but the truth is we are very anxious to be home. Daron won't admit to homesickness per se, but I will. I miss my house, my family, my friends, my dog... And so on... We're looking forward to being back, and sharing Jack with all of you!

- Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Three Kids... Day 12

2011-03-15T00:43:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone. Sorry about the lack of posting these last few days, but we've been a little busy! As I type this, Jack is laying next to me on the bed, dozing peacefully. He will do this till about 1am, when he decides that it's party time, and will do his best to stay up all night long. He's a night owl, and we've had to take him in shifts. I've never been this tired before.

This is Jack's first post-hospital photo. We were released from the hospital last Thursday, and our first stop as responsible parents was Taco Bell. I tell you what, carrying that carseat into an establishment for the very first time felt a little strange. In the insulated world of the hospital, it was so easy. There were nurses there to attend to your every need, and having them was a huge safety net. The hospital was very accommodating, and allowed us to room across the hall from Kelli. For the few days were were there, we were able to care for Jack together, and experience all of his firsts right there on the spot. We were really impressed with the hospital here.

This is one of my favorite first photos of my boys together. After we checked into the hotel, we were so completely exhausted. We spent Thursday and Friday just laying low, and getting to know each other. Jack is such a sweet baby, and very mild tempered. He squeaks a little bit when he needs something, and is very alert and aware. He started holding his head up almost from day one, and is very strong.

Today has been a busy day. The morning was spent finalizing some of the legal paperwork at the lawyers office, and this afternoon my sisters Eadie and Susan came to see us. They were so excited to be the first family members to get to see Jack! Above is a picture of Eadie with Jack. We spent the day eating and shopping- I'm still getting the hang of traveling and going on with daily activities with an infant in tow. The number of items that must be carried with you at all times is shocking! And forget about having any kind of timetable in mind. You better be prepared to stop whatever you are doing at any given moment to make a bottle, change a diaper, find a Paci, etc.

We had a nice experience yesterday when we attended church with Kelli, Jesse, and his family. They all attend the same ward together. Everyone was already pretty aware of the situation, and the plan to place Jack for adoption, so our presence there really wasn't a mystery to anyone. The ward members were very welcoming, and seem to be very supportive of Kelli, Jesse, and the whole family. We're really humbled that they've taken us under their wing while we are here, and that this has been such a positive experience. Not easy, but still positive I think. They love Jack very much, and we will always try our best to honor that. To have so many people love you can only be a good thing, right?

Again, we're sorry about the lack of posting. I know that some of you were worried that the absence of news meant that something might be wrong. Not at all. Things continue to progress, and at this point with all the paperwork signed we are just waiting for clearance to leave the state. We just don't know when that will be. Best case scenario would be Friday, but we're not that hopeful. In any case, we'll tell you when we are on our way back!

In the meantime, here's our first family photo:

The only thing problematic about having a very small infant, is that he makes you look like giants. ...Chubby ones. *sigh*

Elisa

- Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

THREE kids and a minivan

2011-03-09T00:16:00.001-05:00

Today has been a long day. True, it was only six hours of labor top to bottom, but I'm so tired. We got here about 8am, and they started Kelli on her Pitosin drip about 9am. She started having contractions pretty quickly after that, and about noon was begging for the epidural. They kept putting her off, saying that she wasn't far enough along yet, and they didn't want it to wear off. She tried to tell them over and over things were progressing faster than that. When the anesthesiologist showed up, she was only able to get half the epidural in before Kelli had to start pushing. Three big pushes and she was done. It all happened so fast, that I hardly remember the sequence. All I know is that when he came out, I started bawling. Hence, the red runny nose. I do remember being struck by how cute he was, right from the start. These pictures just don't do him justice.

Right now, I'm completely exhausted. I'll post more tomorrow, I promise. I'm still a little shell-shocked, but completely in love. Just the best day ever.

Elisa

Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Two Kids.. Day Six

2011-03-07T10:59:00.001-05:00

Still waiting patiently. The doctor made his daily visit a little while ago, and has declared Kelli to be at 2 cm, and 50% effaced. The daily request to "get this kid out of me" was categorically denied, and we will proceed tomorrow as planned. They will start a Pitosin drip in the morning, and see where the day takes us.
Last night we spent a fun evening over at Jesse's parents house,with the whole family over. I realize that I don't mention Jesse very much, but that's more out of respect for his privacy than anything. He's been very involved these last months, and getting to know both of Jacks birthparents has been so valuable. We love them both, and look forward to an ongoing friendship with them, as well as the rest of the family. We know a lot of adoptive couples don't have this great of an experience with their birth family, so we know how blessed we are.
Right now I'm getting ready to wheel Kelli down to the gift shop for a change of scenery. After 8 days in the room, she's getting pretty squirrelly.
I'll let you know more later if anything changes today..

Elisa

- Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Two kids.. Day Five

2011-03-06T16:29:00.002-05:00

Again, nothing new to report. Sorry to keep you on pins and needles, but these kids have their own timetable. In spite of Kelli trying to bribe various nurses and doctors to hasten things along, they are still insisting on a Tuesday delivery. Here's a cute picture from an ultrasound the other day. You can really see Jack's face..

He's pretty darn cute, huh? Getting here a few days early has allowed us to spend a lot of time with Kelli and her family, and get our bearings here in town. The days are long for Kelli, being stuck on hospital best rest, but the perks are good. Prenatal massage a couple times a week, and even extra insulin so she can eat some chocolate cake. No table necessary.

Even Daron has found his place in this world- a quiet place in the corner, "working" on his laptop. Tomorrow will be spent running some last minute errands, and getting ready for the big day.

If you would like to be on the email distribution on Tuesday, please let me know. Even better, post your email address in the comments section so I don't have to go track them all down in my distracted state. Thanks for all the nice texts and notes of encouragement. Talk to you tomorrow!

-Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Two Kids... Day Four

2011-03-05T09:19:00.002-05:00

Today will be a light news day, folks. We spent the better portion of yesterday at the hospital keeping Kelli company. She's still on bedrest because of her seizures, and isn't allowed to do much. We have a definite date for inducing, and that will be Tuesday. That is, if she doesn't go into labor on her own these next couple days. In the meantime, we are spending time with the family and Daron is getting to know everyone a little better. If you remember, I had the benefit of meeting everyone back in the fall, so I'm a little more familiar.

For today, it's back to the hospital. And for those asking- no, it still doesn't seem real!

Elisa

Two kids.. Day 3

2011-03-04T10:58:00.001-05:00

As I type this, we have literally just crossed over the border into Iowa. We stopped short of our goal last night because 1. We were tired, and 2. We were hungry. Barnes's don't do well with hunger. Yesterday was a long day, with 4 states under our belt. WV, OH, IN, and IL. Traffic was light, no major delays anywhere, and the weather was nice! A couple things that we learned on day two:
1. IPAD invaluable. Turns out that AT&T does have a cap on the amount of bandwidth they will let you suck in two days, but for a nominal fee this can be corrected.
2. The Midwest is flat as all get-out. No lie, the minute we descended down from The mountains of WV (gorgeous), Ohio loomed ahead like a corn field covered pancake. Truthfully, I find wide open spaces comforting, having grown up in the desert. Daron on the other hand, was alternately fascinated and unnerved by it.
3. Why does gas have to be so $$$$$? Seriously, we topped off our 1/2 empty tank somewhere, and it was $47. This is going to add up fast!
4. Flooding. Everywhere. The heavy snowfalls this year have really contributed to the spring run-off. Banks are breeched pretty much everywhere we look.
5. West Virginia- nuclear and coal power plants everywhere. Very strange to be winding around a scenic country road, and then BOOM. Nuclear power plant. I didn't see Homer Simpson anywhere, so WV must be in good hands.
6.Xenia, OH: self proclaimed bicycle capital of the US. Not sure what makes them so, just that their water tower informs the world of this fact. Nope, didn't see a single bicycle.
7. Richmond, IN: not sure what to make of this, but maybe the church with the biggest cross wins? Use the car in the picture as perspective.

8. Almost as a flashback from my childhood, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that campgrounds still exist. Mostly KOAs, but still. That tradition of my youth is still alive, and being enjoyed here in the Midwest. Ask me about the tornado at the KOA in Kearney, NE someday.
9. Ahhh rednecks. I've discovered that being a redneck isn't geographically dependent. It's more of a lifestyle, really.
10. Daron will still sing "Sweet Child of Mine" with as much enthusiasm as he did in High School. The thing about that is this: only Axl Rose can sing like Axl Rose. Everyone else just sounds like a 9 year old girl. A whiny one.

That's all for now folks. We're about an hour away from Cedar Rapids, where the story will really get rolling. Daron will meet Kelli and the family for the first time, and I know they will adore him. Who wouldn't?
Elisa

Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Two kids and a minivan.. day one

2011-03-02T18:05:00.001-05:00

Indulge me for a moment as I make a random observation. There's something very strange about driving a borrowed mini-van, chock full of baby items that you have no idea how to use, to a state and town that you are not familiar with, to undergo a life changing experience that nobody could adequately prepare you for. On the other hand, there is something VERY exciting about an adventure that not very many people get to experience, travelled at a leisurely pace with your very best friend and partner in crime. To be able to blog remotely from a highway in rural West Virginia is also pretty darn cool. Keep that 3G rolling AT&T!

So to get everyone up to speed, we are making our way to Iowa in anticipation of Jack's arrival. Kelli has been suffering with seizures that her doctors have not been able to get under control. There was a period of time yesterday when we thought she would be induced last night. There was some concern from the doctor that Jack's lungs might not be quite ready. Results of an amnio confirmed this, so the decision was made to put off inducing for a few days, and buy Jack a little time. This bought US valuable time as well, and we are hopefully no longer in danger of missing his birth! In the meantime, Kelli is on bed rest at the hospital, and we are trying to see how many G's Grady's minivan can pull on the open road. Don't worry, we're merely getting it out of our system before the state of Iowa expects us to be grownups worthy and capable of caring for another human being.
A couple of shots before blowing town:

Yep, it's a Sheetz cup. Seriously? A road trip without Sheetz? NEVERRR. This will become problematic come potty time, but hey. We will cross that bridge somewhere in rural West Virginia.

For the record, Daron is killing me at the animals/graveyard game, but I'm holding my own at the license plate game.

TO BE CONTINUED......

- Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Were still here...

2011-02-28T13:35:00.001-05:00

Jack continues to do great, and is growing at a good steady rate. Kelli is currently 37 weeks along, and is NOT doing great. She still struggles with her gestational diabetes, and went to the hospital last night with seizures. Alarming, yes. But apparently not alarming enough to her doctor to hasten a delivery. They are keeping her in the hospital for a couple of days to see what happens. They will be monitoring Jack's heart rate, Kelli's blood pressure, and will try to get her blood sugar better regulated while they're at it. Poor girl has been such a trooper through all this! A few extra prayers on her behalf couldn't hurt. We will let you know when we leave town...

Elisa

- Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

If you throw a man a shower...

2011-02-21T13:19:00.001-05:00

... He will likely come home with some fairly random gift offerings. I have to say though, I was pleasantly surprised at what these boys came up with. True, the gifts mainly arrived in the plastic bag they were purchased in, but the variety was amazing. Take a look, and then I'll point out some favorites...

There's a great selection of sports items, trucks, cars, even ear plugs for Dad! One of my personal favorites:

Yep, Jack's first bullets. It will be a while before he's old enough- at least two or three years by Daron's estimation. But really, is it ever too early to start stockpiling ammunition?

I will admit, at first glance I thought these were for real. I haven't spent any time perusing the Gerber aisle, so naturally I assumed that baby food had improved leaps and bounds over the years. Who wouldn't want to expose their kids early on to the joys of Twinkies and Hot Wings? I'd say that the man who made these must have had a lot of free time, but I happen to know that he doesn't. Thanks Ken for the laughs. I'm going to keep these around as a conversation piece.

Got camouflage? We sure do! My boys will be trekking through the woods in style with these great outfits. Not that you'd ever see them. People asked Daron if I was ok with my child wearing camouflage. Sure thing! You won't see me wearing it, but it really is sort of a Barnes boy tradition. In moderation, of course. No camo at church.

What else went down at the shower? Not really sure because I was forbidden from crashing. I heard rumors of great food, lots of Xbox, and scads of guys talking about guy things, and generally eschewing all things feminine and proper. Quote of the night: "We're not doing that, this is a MAN shower!"

Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Baby Shower

2011-02-15T13:19:00.015-05:00

To say that I was excited about my baby shower was an understatement. I was a little nervous about it, just because I'm not usually comfortable being the center of things, but it really was a wonderful time. My friends Jo and Donna were so wonderful to host, and went out of their way to make it special and fun. I was really touched that so many people came, and how excited everyone is for us! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

*Side note: Imagine my horror when I discover a few days later that my top was see-thru with the camera flash. Hahahha. Very funny. I will only be posting the PG-rated photos, and spare you the Janet Jackson moment. This is a family blog, afterall.

Jack's cake was super cute. See the little booties? Kim Carlile's mom knit us some little camouflage booties that I thought were hysterical. So tiny that he might not wear them for long, but they will always be a keepsake.

How cute is this little green vest and shirt? Thanks Jenny. Not only for the cute church outfit, but for the hours of entertainment this will provide me. I explained to everyone at the shower that Daron finds little boys in vests very unsettling because of his own hot-naturedness. He sees them all snug and warm in a sweater vest, and assumes that they are as uncomfortable as he would be in one. Yep, can't wait to break out that vest.

There were many MANY great gifts, and I'd love to highlight all of them. But like I said, I've had to censor out the embarrassing see-thru photos in favor of photos with strategically placed gift bags in the shot.

Also, when looking through the photos, I noticed something about myself. How did I get to be this age and not know that I make the weirdest facial expressions? Why can't I be photogenic and take charming pictures? Daron thinks he is the butt of all jokes on this blog, so to prove he's not, I've thrown together a collage of my most bizarre and inexplicable facial expressions from that day. Keep in mind that one of these expressions stems from someone telling me she is preggers in her card, while I'm reading it in front of the crowd. I have NO poker face, so if you're trying to clue me in to a secret, don't make me do it in front of anyone!

So there you go Daron, you're off the hook for today. Incidentally, when the boys found out that Daron was sad about not getting a shower (face it, he was sad about not getting to eat), his friend Aric planned a "man shower" for this coming Friday night. Hilarious. I can't wait to see what will constitute a "man shower." For a laugh, see the invite below:

So there you go. What a great weekend. As for Jack, he continues to grow and thrive. He's got a few weeks left, and we are anticipating a late February, early March delivery. He still breech, so that might complicate the manner in which he arrives, but all the doctor's are very reassuring about his health. His size indicates that he could probably be delivered any time, but his lungs need a little more time. So hopefully he stays put for now, but babies have their own agenda!

We'll keep you posted,

Elisa

Nursery Update #3

2011-01-23T20:29:00.002-05:00

Week 32. Eight weeks to go. Or less, if you are a betting woman like myself. I'm going to go on record as saying that Kelli won't make it all 40 weeks. More like 38ish. After many contractions, and recently flunking her glucose tolerance test, I'm betting that Jack is going to find his way out early, one way or another. Wait until he finds out how cold it is in Iowa right now, and he'll be wishing he stayed another month or two!

In the meantime, we are making progress finishing up various projects around the house. We've successfully cleaned out the office, and just yesterday I got the mural up on Jack's wall. Daron asked why we needed a mural, and I tried to explain the concept of whimsical and fun. Odd, because Daron is the most "fun" person I know. How could he not get the mural? If it had been a 7 foot Death Star, I might have been speaking his language. Clearly the area I was NOT speaking his language was the hip/inspirational vinyl quote I had ordered to put on one of the walls, which was promptly vetoed as "weird" because babies can't read. Yes, but moms who are up at 3am feeding babies can read, and would have pondered that quote in the wee hours of the morning. I shall have to settle for being less hip, and less inspired.

So here's the room as of yesterday:

We are about 99% finished. Just a couple little details like a changing pad and wipes, diapers, lotions, etc. I'm sure that with the showers coming up, those things will appear in abundance. For those of you that are curious, the tree was ordered off of ETSY.com , and was fairly reasonable. Just search for "vinyl art." It applies to just about any surface and peels off easily when you're tired of it. I say fairly reasonable, because when I weighed the benefit of easy vinyl vs. my embarrassingly childlike painting skills, it seemed more than reasonable to me.

I fully expect in about 5 years to be tearfully peeling this lovely tree off the wall in favor of a 7 foot Death Star. But until then, I'm going to enjoy this sweet room, and sweet baby, and savor every little minute. Quote or no quote.

Elisa

Nursery Update

2011-01-08T21:25:00.004-05:00

So a big thanks to my BFF Sherri, for not only showing up to paint, but bringing much needed beverages from the Sheetz. And yes, I'm going to apologize to my friend Christy in advance- because as you so perceptively noticed once, there does indeed seem to be a Sheetz cup strategically placed in an alarming number of our family photos.

So as you can see, the "before" photos are shockingly so. I had always hesitated to do anything too drastic to this room, until I got a feel for the person moving into it. We had never even painted this room, and we've owned this house almost 8 years! So yeah, neglected. Or maybe postponed. I like that word better. This room has served as a storage room, a craft room, a guest room, a dump-it-till-later room. You name it, it's been there. I'm proud to say that this room has reached it's final destination, and I couldn't be happier about it!

There are still a few final touches that I will work on in the next few weeks (artwork, etc), but I think we accomplished a lot for one Saturday.

10 weeks, and our new tenant will move in!

P.S. Blogging from the IPad- still totally awesome....

Elisa

Beard rebellion

2011-01-06T12:00:00.002-05:00

So Congrats everyone. You get to witness Elisa's first foray into mobile blogging via IPad. Awesome? Yes. And it will become ever more awesome when my mobile Apple keyboard arrives in a few days. These types of expenditures are not only allowed, they are encouraged when you're a serious blogger. At least that's the position I will take with the Hubs when the bill comes.

So check out Daron's one and only rebellion is his rather obedient, vanilla flavored existence:

No, its not a muskrat. Its a beard. And a full, majestic one at that. In spite of his mothers withering look every time she saw it, he continued to nurture it and love it. He would stroke it and talk to it, and the girls at work even named it Bruce. Did I love it? Not really. But I saw it for the experiment that it was, and for his need to try it just once. My only stipulation was that it disappear before Jack arrives, and that it not be present for any major photo-op events.

Turns out a new calling in the bishopric necessitated it's immediate and hasty removal. Daron will insist that it was time for a fresh start anyway, but the end result is the same- That baby face that I love is back, and is infinitely more smoochable.

Some progression photos for your enjoyment:

I call this one "Creepy Lynyrd Skynryd Roadie"

This one is Elvis... He was alive and well in our bathroom that night- if only for a moment.

I'm told by my friend Jenny that I'm lucky. Her husband Levi will wear his beard de-evolutions for several days each. Phew. That's a level of ridiculousness that I hadn't even considered.

The inspiration for all this beard rebellion? A long forgotten family show from the 70's called "Grizzly Adams." If you ask, Daron will even sing the theme song for you. Or see the video below....

Cheers everyone!

Posted by Elisa using her awesome IPad

Third Trimester!

2010-12-21T12:40:00.005-05:00

As of Sunday, Kelli is 27 weeks along and officially into her third trimester!! She's been feeling a bit better these days, although Jack is a little stinker and likes to play trampoline on her bladder, and sit on a particularly painful nerve. His favorite position is to lay sideways, punching his fists up underneath Kelli's ribs. He's a very active baby, and a hard kicker.

The top five questions many of you are asking these days:

1. Are you ready? -Yes and No. Yes, because this is something we've been wanting, planning, waiting, and pleading for since 2002. No, because it's way more fun to shop for blankets and paci's and bouncy seats than it is to paint the nursery. Actually, let's be really honest with ourselves- Why is the nursery not painted? Because it's still deer season, and in the contract I signed when we got married, I agreed to look the other way when my better half spends 1-2 days of each glorious fall week sitting in a deer stand. Anything having to do with paint will require paternal involvement.

2. Did you know Rush is coming? -Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. I knowwww. I'm painfully aware that they are coming. On April Fools day too. Ha ha. Very funny. The irony isn't lost on me, people. Reality: with a 10 day old baby, and probably only being barely back in the state, a Rush concert in Greensboro probably isn't feasible. Ahhhhh, this must be what they mean when they talk about parental sacrifices. I sooooo get it now.

3. Middle name yet? -No. We have one in mind, but we're waiting for final approval from the name's rightful owner. Long story. We are open to suggestions, and in particular "O" names (except not really).. Daron thinks it would be hilarious for him to have J.O.B. as initials.... as in, "boy, stop asking me for money... you need to go getta JOB!.." ....Ahh, dad humor.

4. Are things still going well? -Absolutely. Kelli is a great girl, and we've become particularly close. Sometimes life offers you opportunities you didn't expect, and the potential of a lifelong relationship/friendship with Jack's birthmom is an unexpected bonus. And not to mention, wonderful for Jack. Attitudes towards adoption and "open" adoptions in particular are so much healthier than they used to be.

5. What about work? -The plan right now is to take Jack with me while he's small and sleeping a lot. I've got a great office environment, room for a crib, and the flexibility to come and go. As soon as it's not feasible to have a baby in the office, I'll gradually whittle down my hours, and transition out. I'm not going to lie, not working is going to be very weird. I've worked full time for the last 20 years, so doing anything different from that will take some adjustment. I'm one of those odd ducks that really loves working, and feeling productive and contributory. My mindset now is that motherhood will be mindblowingly awesome, and I'll never feel the need to look back.

As we get closer and closer, I find myself becoming more and more excited and nervous. Excited for all the pretty obvious reasons, but nervous because of the many unknowns. My Type-A, plan-for-all-outcomes nature has been tested over and over again in this experience. I'm really having to rely on faith, and the hope that everything will work out just as it should. Daron has been instrumental in keeping me focused on the big picture. Just so I'm clear, I'm not worried about anything falling through- I'm anxious and empathetic for Kelli, and Jack's whole biological family- for the trial this has been and will be for their family. I'm anxious about the birth, and the lawyers, and the 1000 little surprise details that must be attended to. It's naive of me to wish for everything to run smoothly, and I fear being inadequate or underprepared for anything that might pop up. I'm sure this is just preparation for parenthood, where 85% of the time you're inadequate or underprepared.

13 weeks to go!

Elisa

Nursery

2010-11-17T09:14:00.005-05:00

I've been trying to distract myself by working on Jack's nursery. It's been a weird project, because the control freak part of me wants everything to be perfect and lovely when the little man moves in, but the superstitious/jinxed/jaded side of me is afraid to do too much. Hence, nursery limbo land, where everything is chosen and purchased, but not entirely assembled. Reality: with less than 18 weeks to go, it's time to get moving! Plus, with the added incentive of Jack's entire biological family now following the blog, there's additional reason to deliver- Gotta keep these lovely people convinced that the Barnes casa (and NC in general) will be an awesome place for a boy to thrive and grow! A janky nursery would make this a much harder sell.

For the decorating scheme, I was really stuck. For a girl it would have been so much easier- there is soooo much cute girl stuff out there. Boys are a little trickier. I know I'm going to offend someone deeply when I say this, but I really loathe the whole firetrucks/sailboats/blue theme that seems to be so common with boys rooms. Yes, you want it to be distinctly boyish, but the whole blue thing is so overdone. And probably the whole reason it's overdone, is because there aren't a lot of choices out there for boys. Look at me. The smug expert on nurseries all the sudden.

What I did choose ended up being a theme I'm completely used to. You'll see what I mean below:

Woodland creatures. Soothing earth tones. I'm totally cool with this. The collection is called "Tree Tops," by Carters. I've since chosen a complementary fabric and recovered the cushions on the glider, and lined the laundry basket I bought. Yes, little things to be sure, but enough to keep me distracted from all the things I have no control over.

No, there's nothing to be alarmed about. Things continue to go well, and Kelli has good days and bad days. This pregnancy hasn't been an easy one for her, so I try to root her on from the sidelines. I know she's doing the hardest part, and that's a weird feeling to reconcile. That feeling that there's diddly I can do to help her out. She's a good kid. I hate watching her struggle.

Anyyyyyway. I hope you like the woodland creatures. I think they are adorable, and a good way to get Jack prepped for all the time he will spend in the woods with his dad and grandpa. I apologize for the glossy, staged photo. As soon as we make a little more progress (still need to paint! arrgh!) I'll post the finished product. Now that I'm the expert on baby nurseries, and how not to get them done in a timely manner, please feel free to contact me anytime for fabulous ideas!

Elisa

Here we go again!

2010-11-08T20:50:00.005-05:00

Hope you have a strong stomach, because adoption is a rollercoaster!! I'm excited, and scared, and nervous, and happy, and relieved to be writing this post again: A baby boy coming in March!! The superstitious part of me has been postponing this moment for as long as I can, but I'm about the point where I'm going to burst if I don't tell someone. You're all going to shoot me when I tell you that we've actually known since August, but I know you'll forgive us considering the fiasco that was last April.

First of all, let me tell you that we are working with a wonderful birthmother. Her name is Kelli, and out of respect for her privacy, we won't be sharing much more than that. Her story is tough and intensely personal, and if the situation were reversed, I wouldn't want my struggles spoken about so casually. Kelli is the 6th birthmother that we've worked with, and from the moment she contacted us (the day after my birthday!) we knew that she was different from the others. It just seemed more comfortable and natural than all the others. We have an easy relationship, and are in contact almost every day.

Perhaps the most exciting part of this journey so far has been my recent visit to her state to spend a few days with her, and be present at her 21 week ultrasound visit! Daron was gracious enough to stay home so it could be a real "girls weekend." We shopped, we ate, we talked about the future. I was also lucky enough to be able to spend an evening with the birthfather's family, and really get to know their story. Perhaps the most wonderful realization of this visit: this isn't a story about an unwanted child- this is a child that is wanted by everyone, and loved enough to be let go. That thought humbles me more than you know. So many people could (and want to) step up and keep this child, but Heavenly Father must have known how much WE need him.

His name is going to be Jack, and the middle name is still up for discussion. If you humorously submit to us names like "Rabbit," "Daniels," or "Hammer," you're putting your shower invitation in jeopardy. Consider yourself warned!!

Please keep our family and Kelli in your prayers. She needs love and support, especially in the next couple of months. I already feel guilty for being so happy, when she is going through such a trial. I'm sure extra prayers for her peace and comfort couldn't hurt.

Now the cat's out of the bag, we will keep you posted!

Love to you all,
Elisa

Birthday Fail

2010-07-27T10:35:00.002-04:00

I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but once in a while I make a critical error in judgment. The error I’m about to describe in painful detail surrounds the birthday of one Daron Barnes, and will go down in history as “The Great Birthday Incident of 2010.”

So yeah, birthdays. Daron and I both have a birthday and our wedding anniversary in a 30 day period. Because of this, we typically don’t make a big deal about it. For me, birthdays usually are a time to negotiate a purchase that I’ve been scheming and planning in my head for months. Birthdays sometimes provide that little bump of leverage I’ve been seeking- the bump that can push a “want” firmly and safely into the “purchase” category. Beyond that, a birthday has outlived its usefulness. It’s quite possible that Daron cares even less than I do, but even so, I wanted to at least acknowledge the fact that he’d made it another year. Problem is, I don’t have the Ken Carlile creative party gene, and I’m painfully inadequate when it comes to gift ideas, etc. Then it occurs to me: How about a massage? A surprise massage! He’s never had one, and I bet he would think it was heavenly. Simple equation: Elisa loves massage, therefore Daron must love massage. Easy Cheesy.

We pulled up the massage joint, and what happened next can only be described as unfortunate. You know the look on kids faces when you take them to get shots? It was that look. I wish I could say that bringing him was the only critical error. My second, and ultimately fatal error was trying to explain to him in the few hushed minutes we had in the waiting room, that most people will undress completely, but he didn’t have to do that etc., and I had something for him to wear in my bag. “You have my WHAT IN YOUR BAG?!!” At this point, any and all composure on his part deteriorated, and I think that may have been when I started to sniffle and dig around in my purse for a tissue. “I never should have brought you!” may have escaped my normally well-controlled tongue (stop laughing). It was then that my masseuse showed up, so I did the only thing I could do: I huffed out, and left him there to figure it out on his own.

The aftermath: I was secretly hoping that he would enjoy it so much, that he would beg my forgiveness for not trusting me, and so on and so on. When we were finally in the car leaving, I asked him how it was. “OK.” That was all I got. He then told me if he could have paid someone to scratch his back for an hour, then it might have been worth it.

Lesson to be learned here: Don’t EVER take a country boy for a massage. They don’t understand it, and they can’t relax enough to enjoy it. And for the love of everything good and holy, DON’T try to make it surprise. Daron is a good sport about a lot of things. If he couldn't recover from the shock in time to embrace something new, then your country boy won't stand a chance.

Live and learn!
Elisa

5 Things....

2010-07-22T12:00:00.006-04:00

Today's post is titled, "Five Things You'll Never Catch Me Doing.."

• Scuba Dive. Breathtaking expanses of coral and other sea life. What’s not to love? How about crushing expanses of water, weighing down on top of you. Sort of like when Timmy McClanahan trapped me inside a refrigerator box when I was 6. Except with drowning. I wasn’t a fan of claustrophobia back then, and I sure as heck am not going to pay for the experience as an adult. But it is soooo relaxing!! No, not for people that have a healthy and natural fear of watery graves. I’ve seen ‘The Abyss.’ I don’t have any of that magical liquid that Ed Harris’s character breathes like amniotic fluid. MY BODY WILL NOT REMEMBER. (Extra credit for you if you get the obscure Abyss reference…)
• Get a Tattoo. Contrary to popular belief (Hi Dad), I do not have, nor will I ever get a tattoo. True, I enjoy watching some of the tattoo shows on TV, but purely from an artistic point of view. There are some really beautiful tattoos out there. Approximately 3% of them. The other 97% were done by a guy named Spider, who learned how to tattoo while serving time. Let’s face it, there’s a certain cross section of society that turns to tattooing as a profession, and I’m telling you, there are no budding Caravaggio’s or Rembrandt's there. I have zero interest in being someone’s practice canvas. Besides, I’m the girl that has to wear completely different jewelry EVERY day because I get bored. How could I commit to one image, poorly done, in the same spot, for all eternity? Me personally, I can’t wrap my brain around the thought of being 86 and in the nursing home, with my rock and roll themed tramp-stamp being exposed every time they change my Depends. Have you ever seen a grandma with full tattoo sleeves? Me neither. But if I did, I would find it hilarious. And sad. And then hilarious again. So please, parents of mine, can this finally settle the does-she-or-doesn’t-she question regarding any alleged tattoo? Gracias.
• Be a Journalist/Reporter. There’s no part of me that could write/report about anything that I remotely had an opinion on. You’d see me on the news, the words coming out of my mouth, but listen closely- that’s a faint snicker you hear. Oh yeah, and maybe a well timed eye-roll. Could I seriously report on Lindsay Lohan’s first day of jail today without hinting to you that that’s exactly where the child needs to be? While we’re at it, give the two adjoining cells next to hers to her parents. But I digress. Some of you were born with good looks, smarts, ability to resolve conflict, etc. I was blessed with opinions. Lots of them. Many props to all of you who suffer through hearing them day in and day out.
• Teach High School. I love kids, I really do. I love them when they are small and charming. Appreciative, even. High Schoolers are big, and smug, and hopped up on hormones and Red Bull. Want to know what I remember from High School? That AquaNet achieved the greatest bang height, and that boys made better friends than girls. And that S***** Barnes (name bleeped to protect the not-so-innocent) was a beast. Yes, so I now share a same last name as my nemesis, and that’s what you call IRONY, people. Anyway, think of the blood sweat and tears that go into teaching. Low pay, high drama, and parents constantly calling your methods into question. I have two teachers that stand out as somewhat influential (English and History), the others I can’t even tell you their names. Is that the legacy you want to leave as a teacher? That the only thing I learned in a year of Chemistry class is that sulfuric acid will burn the crap out of your hand? (True story). Also true story: I ran into that same chemistry teacher at the grocery store a year or two after I graduated. He proceeded to ask me out for dinner, which completely weirded me out. Although, it did clear up a lot of the mystery of receiving good solid B’s in a class where I couldn’t even spell stoichiometry. It was one of those lightbulb moments.
• Sing Karaoke. Of some things, you can count on. The rising of the sun. The tides of the ocean. The very assuredness that you will NEVER have to endure my singing in a Karaoke environment. No illicit drug or substance would be enough to convince me of any sort of singing aptitude on my part. Will. Not. Happen. …Ever.

Leave me a comment and tell me something YOU will never do....

Elisa

Young Blood

2010-07-16T12:49:00.003-04:00

Yesterday’s post was about how “old” I am. True, I no longer have that roaring metabolism, or ability to stay awake for three days existing on Mountain Dew and Cheetos. What I have retained are some youthful habits and pursuits; some helpful, some ridiculous. Mostly embarrassing. Buuuuutttt, since my readership demands humorous and self-deprecating posts, I’ll compile a real-life, completely true list of some of the things that keep me young. (read: immature)

* I eat all the marshmallows first out of my bowl of Lucky Charms. Only then do I reluctantly eat the little sawdust puffs that remain.
* I drive as fast as I did at 15, when my parents so wisely bought me a ’76 Camaro for a “first” car. Coincidentally, that’s also when I learned you could cry to get out of a ticket.
* I still rate my Saturdays as “good,” “better,” “best,” depending on whether I got to sleep in or not. And how long.
* I sneak contraband into the movies. Once in High School I managed a whole Jack in the Box combo meal, but my personal adult best is a 44oz soda, and king size box of Mike and Ikes. And not in a big purse, but a small purse with a hoodie draped jauntily over my arm. A bold move, if I do say so.
* We tape and watch ‘Penguins of Madagascar ‘ religiously.
* Two words: HELLO KITTY (The husband, who clearly does not understand the obsession has veto’ed the Hello Kitty themed bathroom. So rude.)
* Am currently working my way through LEGO: Harry Potter for XBOX360. Also own Lego Batman, Lego Star Wars, and Lego Indiana Jones.
* Will hop on a plane in a heartbeat to go meet my friends at a concert. The desire has always been there, but having an adult income has afforded me the means to do so. Not to mention, no parentals to tell me how frivolous and excessive this hobby of mine has become. (Has anyone seen the show ‘Intervention?’ Watch for me next season..) This all started with a Rush concert when I was 18, and 13 of us pooled enough money to get ONE room at a Motel 6 in Albuquerque. Where did we all sleep? There was no sleep. (See comment above re: Mountain Dew and Cheetos). Just a warning from the manager that we were no longer welcome at the SIX’er on Montgomery Blvd.
****SIDEBAR: Have seen RUSH in concert 21 times. Next month in Las Vegas will make 22.
* The word “moist” still makes me snicker. Keep in mind, I hear this word at LEAST once a day in my current profession.
* Last family gathering taught my sister’s little boys, 4 and 6, how to make the West Side gang signs. “West Saaayyeeed!” (Bloods was too hard- their little fingers aren’t that nimble. Don’t worry, copious amounts of XBOX will fix that.)
* Stayed up waaaaaay too late last night playing Texas Hold ‘Em on Facebook. On a schoolnight. Rationalized it by telling myself I'd make up the sleep on Saturday.
* Will sometimes open the bag of powdered donuts in the store, because I can’t wait until checkout.
* I laugh uncontrollably when I’m scared. I went through a “haunted woods” last year for Halloween, and I think they thought I was special.
* I have at one time, craved Krispy Kreme at 1am. My female roommates being more cautious (read: smarter) than I was, made me call a male friend to bodyguard us downtown. That bodyguard is now my husband, who these days will not take me out of the house at 1am for ANYTHING. Not even if the house was on fire, and there were $100 bills blowing down the street.

This post could go on ad-nauseum, and I’m losing self respect the longer I go on. In closing, I’ll give you one more reason that I couldn’t possibly be considered a real adult: At 7am this morning, I ate a piece of Kim Carlile’s birthday cake for breakfast. A generous piece. And when I say piece, I should clarify that I didn’t cut myself a piece. I ate it right out of the container like a Neanderthal. I learned that bachelor “why-dirty-a-plate?” trick from Daron. The upside to sugar at 7am, is that it has the same effect that it did when I was 6. The down side is that it had the same effect that it did when I was 6: I had oodles of energy until about 9:30, and have been dragging hiney ever since.

Naptime yet? Have a good weekend everyone….

Elisa

Old School

2010-07-15T13:42:00.003-04:00

Yeah, so I haven’t posted in a while. You figured that out, right? I guess the whole adoption fiasco, and subsequent adoption scam of earlier this summer rendered me somewhat humorless. I hope to get back to semi-regular postings. Because if there’s anything your life is lacking, it’s random musings from me. You’re welcome.

Post of the day: I’m old. I just figured this out over the weekend. It came as a huge shock to me, so I’ll try to explain how this horrible realization finally dawned.

One word: Chaperone. The fact that anyone would trust me with their precious offspring just astonishes me, but as I go thru my “old” list, it’s beginning to occur to me that I’m not as young and impulsively fun as brain tells me I am. For example, the hubby and I spent 3 days at Youth Conference this past weekend, and came home much older, much wearier, and possibly dumber than when we left. (Top five vocab words of 2010: “Uhhh,” “Totally,” “Like,” “Duh,” and “Sick.”)

*Sidebar: The top five vocab words of 1989: "Uhhh," "Totally," "Like," "Duh," and "Gnarly."

When I say Youth Conference, think 830 kids, 3 dorm buildings, 2 dances, and lethal amounts of Axe Body Spray. Hubs and I did NOT get to room together, and in fact, were not even housed in the same building. Ask him sometime about his adventures with his roommate “Rudy.”

I have discovered that even though I don’t have kids, I weirdly enough have no issue with bossing other people’s kids around. Want to try to sneak into the boys dorm? Yeah, no way. (Old). Sticking angry head outside of door to yell at random girl running down halls at 3:30am? (Old). Not to mention, sans contacts and blind as a mouse? (Blind AND Old). Keep in mind, these kids were born in the mid 90’s. I’ve got shoes older than that. CUTE SHOES. Or are they cute? I’m having shoe-doubt now, which has never happened before. Who am I trying to kid? Maybe I should just start shopping for orthopedic shoes at the Naturalizer...

Remember the old days when a song would come on, fast or slow, and you would stand awkwardly around waiting to be asked, pretending you were super engrossed in convo with your friends, and then thank your lucky wall-flower stars when you finally DID get asked? Yeah, they don’t do that anymore. The slow songs, maybe. And there's no hard and fast rule anymore about who does the asking- Fast songs are danced in a big glob out in the middle of the dance floor, and there are no dance moves. Just jumping up and down to the beat. Seriously. (Old).

And finally, the worst realization concerning my “oldness.” I’ve coasted gently into the years of having to consider “age appropriateness” when purchasing clothing. I’ve seen some adorable outfits that would just get me talked about by other harpies my age. Take for instance those cute cutoff leggings that the girls wear under skirts. It’s with a twinge of sadness that I admit I shouldn’t even attempt that look.

So there you have it, my essay on oldness. I’ve only scratched the surface, but I don’t have the heart to go on. (may need a nap now..) Sure, it’s mostly a state of mind. That’s why next time I’ll post all the things that still make me young and immature.

Elisa

We're Ok

2010-05-10T08:38:00.002-04:00

Just a quick update. We really are doing fine. It's pretty much back to normal at our house, and although I still have the periodic twinge of sadness, they are getting fewer and farther between. It's helped just to stack everything back in the nursery and close the door. The task I work hardest at is banishing the thought of "what if it doesn't ever happen?" It's embarrassing to admit that I give in to despair sometimes, but I'm learning to squash those thoughts as they pop up. I keep telling myself that there has to be some sort of reason or plan in all this, and it's ok for me not to know it. I also have to make myself not over think things. Even if this never happens for us, we've got to be ok with that possibility too. It helps living with the eternal optimist. How did a cynic like me end up with Pollyanna? Not sure, but it's a good thing I did. He's taught me how to be grateful for what I DO have. To love each day for what it is, and the opportunities that surely lie ahead. That even with our trials, we still don't have much to complain about.

So many of you have sent meals, checked in, emailed, sent cards, sent flowers, and just generally showed us that you care. Also, a big thank you to my counselors and leaders that pretty much took over my calling for the last two weeks. That was a huge weight lifted. If there was one positive thing to come out of this, it was to learn just how loved we really are. You allowed us our space, but still made your loving presence known. Thank you for that!

6 Days

2010-04-28T16:44:00.002-04:00

Turns out six days is all it takes to turn your world upside down. We had been frantically and excitedly preparing for a little boy to enter our lives this week, and are sad to report that that will not be happening.

Up until yesterday everything looked good, we had conferenced with our lawyer in SC, and were on track to pick him up in a few days. Yesterday afternoon, our case worker Jean called with bad news. The birthmother had not be forthcoming about her prenatal care, and in fact, had had none. Her only visit was a month ago at 35 weeks, where she was told that the baby had multiple birth defects. She received no care after that, until yesterday when she went to the hospital to deliver. Knowing (or not knowing) that there were going to be many unanswered questions about his health, we decided to wait until he was delivered to make any decisions. He was born by c-section this morning, and weighed in at a healthy 7lbs 2ozs. He has spina bifida (his spinal cord is exposed outside of his body) and hydrocephaly (fluid putting pressure on his brain). Both of these are correctable to some extent, but his long term health is a big question mark. He underwent surgery this afternoon to attempt to correct both of these problems.

There were many legal difficulties to overcome when this was a healthy adoption. Now that he's certain to be in the hospital for several months, we were advised (and reluctantly agree) that a local SC family would be better for him. They can visit and care for him on a daily basis- something that we wouldn't have been able to manage due to distance and legal issues stemming from being in another state. The new family was notified this afternoon.

That being said, I'm in quite a state. We've done nothing but celebrate with you for 5 days, and now all I feel is a tremendous sense of loss. We know that you all love us, and will pray for our peace and comfort. Right now it's too hard to talk about it, so please let us lie low for a couple days while we get our bearings again. The Lord will bless us with our righteous desires- it just wasn't meant to be this time.

Elisa and Daron

BIG NEWS

2010-04-24T23:31:00.000-04:00

So, a lot of you have heard, and most you haven't- We're tried to call and let a lot of you know...

WE'RE GETTING A BABY!

We got the call yesterday morning, and not only are we getting a baby, he's due in 9 days! May 3rd is his due date, but you know how these things go. We're preparing so that we can leave about any time. We don't know a lot about the situation, as the birthparents wish for a closed adoption. We know that he is healthy and has had excellent prenatal care. We know that he is caucasian, but beyond that... nothing. We won't know anything about the family beyond the little bit of family medical history that will be provided to us.

People keep asking about showers, etc. I can't even wrap my brain around this yet, much less contemplate a shower. I am excited to have one, and will enjoy it much more after we are home for a week or two. My go-to girl Sherri is taking charge of that, so if you'd like to help, or want an invite, please email her at itssherriberri@hotmail.com. She'll hook you up with all the pertinent info.

This isn't a done deal. Please pray for a healthy delivery, and that the Spirit may comfort his birthmother throughout the process. I can't imagine being in her shoes right now. She has a final doctor's appointment on Tuesday that will hopefully help us narrow down our departure date.

Thank you for all the well-wishes, and we will keep you posted as we know more!

He's a keeper

2010-01-14T10:28:00.006-05:00

It's the little things that tell me I picked the right guy. One little gesture like this, and bonehead comments like "you're the 2nd best cook I know!" melt further back into the recesses of my memory. I couldn't bear to scrape it off, so I drove all the way to work like this. Thanks Daron, for making my morning a little better!

Stella!!!!!

2010-01-01T21:21:00.003-05:00

Yeah yeah. I know I haven't blogged in a month. I know that I should be blogging about Christmas, and New Years, and my parents visit in early December... and there's still plenty of time for that. I still have two days of vacation left, and anything is possible. In the meantime, let me introduce you to the newest member of Team Barnes:

Yep, she really is as adorable as you think she is. Stella's arrival at the Barnes Casa came as a surprise to me too. A couple of days before Christmas, I started getting "prepped" for her arrival:

Monday
Daron: "A girl at work has baby hamsters."
Elisa: "Awesome. What do you want for dinner tonight?
Because I was thinking about....."
Tuesday
Daron: "Hey these hamsters are really kinda cute. There's a grey one,
and a.."
Elisa: "Really, a hamster? What are we, Nine years old? Do we
really want a hamster? Are you feeling me out for a tentative hamster
adoption?"
Daron: "Nooooo, no, no. I'm just saying they are pretty cute."
So fast forward to Wednesday evening, when one Daron Barnes comes through the door with a small cardboard box in hand, and a guilty 9-year-old look on his face. I open the box, and the sweetest little hamster face looks up at me. (Side note: I'm such a sucker for animals, it's not even funny. In fact, I have to turn the channel whenever the ASPCA commercial comes on, with all those sad little dogs and cats. The only thing that keeps me from running a Pekingese rescue, is my love of a paycheck, and inability to buy high-end handbags and shoes on said shelter salary. Which is none. Ok, that, and the husband has a big problem with turning his garage into fully functioning kennel.) Suffice it to say that I loved her immediately, just as Daron knew I would. A trip to PetsMart, and $45 later, my FREE hamster was set up in her new swank pad. Not ever having had a hamster growing up, I had to educate myself quickly and thoroughly on hamster care. The quick glance I had at the hamsters-for-dummies pamphlet at the petstore should do the trick.
ANYWAY. You probably have a couple questions. So here we go-
1. Why Stella? What kind of name is that for a hamster? Well, why not. Besides, you have no idea how much entertainment has been derived so far by hollering "STELLLAAAAAA" in your best Marlon Brando voice. (Go google 'Streetcar Named Desire' if you don't get the reference. And you might want to watch more Turner Classic Movies. I'm just saying.)
2. Why a hamster? Why now? Oh heck. I don't know. I keep asking for another puppy, and I suppose this is Daron's way of buying some more time. Because there's one thing we know about women who can't/don't have children, and that's that they fill their lives and homes with pets until a. their spouse leaves them, or b. News14 shows up on their doorstep because the neighbors are complaining about the meowing/barking, and the overwhelming smells of Meowmix/Alpo when the wind is just right. Don't worry, I'm not there yet.
3. What about the dog? Perhaps the best question yet. Having a dog bred for rodent management presents an interesting conundrum. Presently, Stella resides upstairs, and Skip downstairs. Since the dog is not allowed upstairs, we are reasonably confident in Stella's survival rate in the upstairs office. I suspect that subconsciously, we were craving the adventure that only a predator/prey pet relationship could provide.
For those of you keeping track, Team Barnes now consists of the two humans, one dog, four fish, and one sweet little hamster. Hopefully 2010 will be the year we add another human! Wish us luck!!

Thanksgiving Travel

2009-11-25T13:04:00.002-05:00

If you are traveling for tomorrow's holiday, click here to see what you have in store for you:

http://www.elisasepicfail.blogspot.com/

HAHAHAHAHHAHHAAAA!

Making A List, and Checking It Twice

2009-11-23T15:18:00.005-05:00

Every year, the Barnes clan creates and refines a very specific list to help with Christmas gift buying. Every single person in the family, including Grandma and Grandpa and assorted pets, all contribute to "the list." As commercialized as this sounds, having a list makes everyone's life easier. Aunt Sherri acts as list manager, and the children are never discouraged from putting anything on the list, no matter how extravagant. Some years, the list could make you cry if you put too much thought into it. I don't know how many years someone has listed "job," or in our case "baby." Some years the wishes are granted, and some items just stay perpetually on the list. Poor Alexis has had "dog" on her list every year since I've known her. Going on 8 years now. She's been optimistic enough this year to even specify a breed, (doberman) which I'm rooting for wholeheartedly. The dog people need to stick together.

This year, Uncle Daron has taken it upon himself to "help" the kids refine their lists. Items such as "a laptop" or "PSP with games" have been callously crossed out to reflect what Uncle Daron thinks they really need. After a quick glance at the boys list, I think I saw "Ritalin" and "a muzzle" as two not-so-helpful suggestions. Fortunately, the kids have a pretty good handle on Uncle Daron, and know when he's yanking their chain. I hope. Because, let's be honest- if Santa forgets to ever send us that baby on our list, these are the people that will be taking care of us in our old age. Hopefully they have a sense of humor!

No such thing as a free lunch

2009-11-20T09:48:00.007-05:00

Poor long suffering Daron. For many years now, he’s borne the brunt of the many jokes levied against Team Barnes, and done so with relative grace and dignity. So in the spirit of Daron’s contributions, I submit to you one more humorous photo at his expense.

Working at a busy GYN practice, we often have drug reps and various other riffraff lobby for our business. Prescribe Yaz! Loestrin24 is better! Can we bring you lunch??!! Normally I would object to this sort of blatant buying-of-my-affection, but the lure of free Cheesecake Factory is too strong. Everyone has a price, and mine happens to be bowtie pasta, and keylime cheesecake. Oh, yeah, I totally stick them for dessert too. This works out well, because the portions are nice and large. Most of the ladies eat theirs two days in a row, but not me. This is my ticket to NOT fixing dinner that night!! Whoo Hooo!! Daron graciously eats what’s put in front of him, and nary a complaint. Everyone wins, right???

So what is it about a teensy little biohazard emblem that gets people so upset? It’s just a bag. There really isn’t any biohazard in there. I promise. You would think after 5 years of biohazard doggie bags, Daron would be used to this? Judging by the picture, I guess not.

Are you ready for some football?

2009-11-16T10:28:00.003-05:00

This weekend was an exciting milestone in Daron's life- his first NFL football game! I had orginally tried to have it be a surprise for him, but since he's not content to just let things be, he had to figure it out ahead of time. I probably gave him too much advance notice, but when it comes to weekends during hunting season, I had to get on his calendar early. We made a nice weekend out of it, with a stay at the swanky Westin, some shopping, and dinner at a nice sushi restaurant. All in all a VERY fun weekend. The weather at the game was 73 degrees and sunny, and the Panther's won!!

Oh for the love...

2009-11-11T14:39:00.002-05:00

Today was supposed to be D-Day. D as in "Deliver the Washer," or "Do the laundry." I say supposed to, because I'm out $539.10, and still have no working washer. Daron and I clearly differ on what constitutes a working washer.

2:21pm, Elisa calls home: Hi! Soooooooo. How does she look? Do I have a new washer?

Daron: Yes and No.

Elisa: What do you mean, yes and no? It's a simple question really.

Daron: Welllll. You know that thingy that hooks the hose to the wall? It's busted. I'm trying to figure out if it's something I can fix or not.

Elisa: (taking deep breaths) Do you understand the peril that we're in? Everything we own is dirty. I needed that thing to be hooked up TODAY.

Daron: You can wash clothes, you just have to wash them in cold.

Elisa: You can't wash clothes in cold, they don't get clean.

Daron: I washed everything in cold before I met you. You totally can do it.

Elisa: I gotta go.

Happy Veteran's Day!

2009-11-11T10:28:00.005-05:00

Today is the day when we recognize the tremendous sacrifice of all of our veterans, past present and future. Freedom isn't free, and these men and women know that more than anyone. They leave their homes and loved ones, and travel to the ends of the earth to serve their fellow man.

My favorite veteran is my dad. He served a few years in the Navy, but spent his entire career as a civilian working for the Army at White Sands Missile Range. Those of you that know my dad, know that he's had the same military crew-cut since he was 11 years old. My friends used to affectionately call him "the colonel" because of his intimidating demeanor, and way of scaring potential suitors off with one stern look. Only the very best and brightest boys dated his daughters. Even then, only the very cream of that crop got to marry them! My dad is still a patriot, frequently donning his Navy uniform, and serving as part of the honor guard at Veterans funerals. I'm sure he considers it his great honor and privilege to do so.

Dad, we love you and sure are proud of you!! Thanks for instilling in us our love of God and country, and the respect for those that make our many freedoms possible.

Compromise?

2009-11-07T19:59:00.004-05:00

Yeah, I wussed out. The techy, nerdy, shopaholic in me wanted the beautiful new front-loaders, with matching beautiful dryer, both in classy yet exotic color. The scrooge in me bought the same machine that I had before. Only 7 years newer. Oh yeah, the fact that I had mister stingypants whispering in my ear the whole time didn't help either. So yeah, new washer, but not excited. He baited me with the whole "the money we could save" thing, and slyly hinted at a new dishwasher as an enticing concession. How is it I came out sans beautiful washer/dryer, and NO dishwasher? He wisely played the Christmas card, which trumped my but-we-have-money-in-savings card. Well played Daron, well played.... Your ability to hang on to a dollar will be what keeps us from eating catfood in our old age.

Coincidence?

2009-11-05T15:31:00.002-05:00

Ever watch NCIS? Gibbs would tell you that there's no such thing as a coincidence. Like the fact that my washer blows up 3 days before tax-free appliance weekend? Who knew that Obama's stimulus money was going to benefit me in any shape, form, or fashion... That being said, I've been researching consumer reports, and weighing the benefits of the good old fashioned top loaders (like I have. correction: HAD), or the fancy, pretty, colorful new front loaders that look so cool. Oh yeah, and cost double. One thing I've been reading pretty consistently is that people have problems with mold? Mold around the door, and seal? I need comments, people. Who loves theirs, and who hates theirs? And why?

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-02T11:35:00.012-05:00

I know what you're thinking. KISS costumes are a risky choice for a ward Trunk-or-Treat. Right on the borderline between totally awesome, and "the bishop needs to see you." We talked a lot of trash last year about our costumes, only to be outdone by the Carlile family and their Ghostbusters/Slimer trifecta. This year, we enlisted the help of our friends to make sure we had a lock on "Best Costume." Nevermind that the Carliles added additional progeny this year, we still took home the prize!!Fortunately for us, our ward has a sense of humor, and there were no Bishop's summonses or releases from callings. It was quite a process, getting the boys costumes to this point. There were several construction meetings at our house to ensure continuity of theme. We sewed every single stitch ourselves. Plus, obscene amounts of cardboard, glue gun, bedazzler, and spandex!!!

So remember last year when I featured Sushi eating hotdogs? Apparently the menu hasn't changed, because Gene Simmons eats hot dogs too!!! Who knew??

These costumes were a tremendous amount of work, only to be worn for an hour. We decided that IHOP would be a worthy venue for our three rock stars to further debut their look. Being the night BEFORE Halloween, I'm sure we caught some people off guard, but the IHOP employees were good sports too! They were quite patient as several patrons took pictures with their IPhones.

Perhaps my favorite photo of the evening is one of our niece Alexis with her uncle Daron. Check out the pure humiliation! Being related to people that aren't "normal" must be a real strain for her. She bore it somehow, and managed to show her face at the IHOP with us.

Thanks again to everyone that played along with us, and helped perpetuate this Halloween spectacle. And an honorable mention to the Carliles, who were such good sports, even in defeat! Your Captain Crunch/ SnapCracklePop/ TrixRabbit/LuckyCharm were flawlessly executed, but ultimately no match for Rock and Roll Royalty...

Creepy? Sad? Or Both?

2009-10-15T11:27:00.003-04:00

Sometimes there’s nothing sadder than realizing that things get old, wear out, or outlive their usefulness. The only thing sadder than realizing this, is refusing to accept it.

Case in Point: Rick Springfield. Icon of my youth. Major crush of mine spanning 4th – 6th grade. (4th grade was when Andy Gibb was unceremoniously dethroned, and Rick took his place. Andy was gracious, of course, but then again, 10 year olds are fickle. Come on, “Jessie’s Girl?” Andy couldn’t compete with that.) My parents are reading this right now, and thinking, “I had no idea she had a thing for these people…??” Yeah, that’s why they’re called SECRET CRUSHES. No one needs to know, certainly not parents. Parents could only use that kind of information against you, so needless to say, I held my cards close. Mom and Dad, I trust you far more now. Does that help?

Ok, so fast forward 25 years. Time hasn’t been kind to Rick, and that makes me sad. Not that he’s gotten old, but that he just keeps on truckin’, and clearly under bad management.

Sometimes it’s ok to retire, and enjoy your sunset years. I’m begging you Rick, please retire before you ruin all happy childhood memories for me! Before I can’t get the seared-in image of your creepy too-tight facelift, and man eyeliner out of my head. 60 year olds don’t rock, (notable and obvious exception: David Gilmour of Pink Floyd) so please stop embarrassing yourself. Take a page out of Mark Harmon’s book, and become a silver fox! No eyeliner necessary. Besides, I’m fairly sure if Mark Harmon saw you wearing eyeliner, he would take you down. Just out of principle.

Tailgating - California Style!

2009-10-14T10:17:00.010-04:00

I’m sick of talking about squirrels. Let’s talk about football!! Fall is that great time of year when the weather changes, pumpkins start becoming part of the décor, and people start talking about football. On my multi-stop trip out west, I made a very brief stop in San Francisco for a concert and a 49er’s/Seahawks football game. This being my very first NFL game, I was in for an adventure! We had heard that the city buses that run to Candlestick Park fill up fast, so we planned ahead, and ended up getting there about two hours early. Two hours afforded us an opportunity to get to know the 49er’s tailgaters in a way that we didn’t expect. These were the most FRIENDLY, welcoming people that I’d ever met. Complete and total strangers, they invited us to share their meal, and watch the Raiders game on the flat screen they had set up. I’m not sure that plasma tv’s were meant to be compatible with rabbit ears and generators, but it totally worked. What was even more fun, was the fact that not a single one of these fans even had tickets to the game! They were just there for the tailgating.

If you think this setup is impressive, check out the satellite dish, and FIVE TV’s the people across from us had going!

Ok, I submit the picture below to prove the point that all people can exist in harmony. If you ever watched Sesame Street’s “one of these things is not like the other…” this might very well be the adult example of that. We watched these 49er’s fans incredulously- torn between their love of the game, and their inability to leave their privileged lifestyle behind for a couple hours. Yep, in this photo you see a Lexus, a real picnic basket, tablecloth, and fresh bloody mary's complete with celery stalk. A spread that could only be achieved by an upper echelon of society that I'm not at all familiar with. However, the cheap wooden tray tables proved that no matter how much money you make, there's a little bit of Walmart in all of us! HILARIOUS.

All in all, the game was tons of fun. And I learned one thing: if your stadium has an offer to “report BADFAN behavior by texting ****”….. Security WILL come. Don’t ask me how I know this. This little college reunion was short, but sweet. I really enjoyed getting to see my hometown friends again, and jam packing five days worth of fun into two short days. I’m already thinking I need to plan a longer trip next time, so I can see my west coast family. (Uncle Phil and Aunt Sharon, I hope you don’t mind visitors!!??)

Stay tuned.... next post: Seattle, and my day with Lucy!

Reader Questions Answered!

2009-10-12T11:31:00.004-04:00

There have been several questions regarding the new method of squirrel regulation at our house. Here’s an update to answer some of your most burning questions:

Q: Did we eat him?
A: We most certainly did not. Being married to a wildlife biologist, I am a reasonably good sport about trying different cuisines of varying species. I said TRY. Not enjoy. Not put into recipe rotation. My reasoning is admittedly prideful. At this point in time, I make far too much money (any amount is too much) and have endured enough years of schooling, to even entertain the thought of eating a tree rat. Prideful yes, apologetic no. Karma may come back and bite me on this one, but I’m going to risk it.

*Interesting side note: Put a bunch of biologist’s (mostly male, all hunters) together in a work environment, and their work potlucks evolve into a “hey, top THIS” mystery meat bonanza. The equation is simple: mystery meat + crock pot + barbeque sauce = mmm mmm good. Just don’t ask where it came from. Creepy, huh?

Q: Can I come shoot squirrels too?
A: In my wildest dreams, it never occurred to me that I would grow up to have a snipers nest set up in our upstairs office. I'm going to have to say no, since I happen to know that NONE of my girlfriends have valid hunting permits.

Q: Method of Disposal?
A: Originally, the plan was to toss the squirrel into the backyard and let Skip have his way with it. After all, six years of frustration warrant a few minutes of retribution on his part. We quickly decided that letting our beloved (ok, my beloved) house pet devour a wild animal, fleas, plague, rabies, hantavirus, and all, wasn’t the best idea. Picture this: Skip with beloved trophy in mouth, gleefully running the perimeter with his fresh-from-the-tree treat in his mouth. Daron, chasing ecstatic dog around the yard, trying to recover said tasty treat. Poor Skip. The Dad giveth, and the Dad taketh away. He now lies on the back stretches of our property, not buried. Not buried, because we realized that we loaned our shovel out (Hi Sofia!), and need to get it back. Sooner than later.

Q: Survivor’s Guilt?
A: Some. Granted, I was raised in the school of “eat what you kill,” but I didn’t consider eating this one, even for a minute. Going forward, we may need to come up with a strategy that will ease my guilt a little. Organic dogfood? Addition to Daron’s skull collection? I’m open for ideas. Please nobody suggest Brunswick Stew. Google it if you don’t know what I mean. Or click on this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brunswick_stew

Bleh……..

Squirrel Update

2009-10-10T23:18:00.002-04:00

Elisa: 1
Squirrel: 0
Times shot new gun: 1
Insanely proud husband: 1
Confused, but ecstatic dog: 1

That's right folks. One shot. You thought I was kidding?

The name's Mayer... Oscar Mayer...

2009-10-09T12:32:00.002-04:00

For your Friday viewing pleasure, I'm posting this pre-Halloween picture for you. For those of you who have ever thought you were married to a real wiener, take heart. I actually have photographic evidence to back my claim.

Family Is Forever

2009-10-07T13:24:00.002-04:00

Today is a sad day for the Barnes/Cope clans. We lost our dear friend and family member Ray Cope yesterday, after some unexpected surgical complications. Ray was a great guy, a good time, and an even better grandpa! He absolutely adored his 3 grandchildren, and made sure they never wanted for a single thing. Ray, we will miss you at the Barnes gatherings! There wasn't a 4th of July, Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve that I can remember where you and Liddy and Granny weren't there celebrating with us. Thank goodness for our knowledge of forever families, and the promise of being reunited with our loved ones who have passed. We will miss you...

Dichotomy

2009-09-28T11:26:00.006-04:00

A dichotomy is two seemingly contradictory things thrown together for your Monday blog amusement.
Just because I pack a Coach bag, don't assume that I'm not comfortable around guns. (Thanks Dad!) I'm fairly sure that me owning a 9mm Beretta was one of the deciding factors in whether Daron proposed marriage or not. The charming personality and quick wit were just bonuses!

At the Barnes household, we have a bit of a squirrel problem. We happen to own a dog bred for squirrel hunting. One little backyard, 65 taunting squirrels, and no way to catch one has turned our dog into a frustrated mess. Here's where the GAMO Air Rifle comes in... Believe me, I've done some research, and this is going to be fun as well as effective. Will I feel badly about blasting those poor squirrels? Maybe, but I'm sure it will pass soon enough. Besides, squirrel season starts on Thursday, and that makes us totally legit!!

We haven't really thought as far as disposal yet. I really think the minute squirrels start falling from the sky like manna from heaven, Skip will make sure disposal isn't an issue. (Are squirrels fattening? They're all natural, right? I'll have to ask the vet...)

Happy Hunting Everyone!!!

*Disclaimer: if you belong to PETA, think hunting is wrong, hate guns, love squirrels, or any combination thereof... please know that I'm a big fan of the 2nd Amendment (Bill of Rights). We may just have to agree to disagree. Besides everyone knows that girls that shoot guns are totally hot.

Seattle or Bust

2009-09-15T17:56:00.002-04:00

Dear Readers,
This post finds me in better spirits. Approximately 24 hours after I started, I finally arrived in Seattle. The weather here is gorgeous, and I'm going to see one of my favorite bands tonight!!! My luggage arrived without incident (I was right to be worried, though, right?) and I'm in clean clothes for the first time since yesterday morning. Pee-ewww. My friends were kind enough not to comment on my uncharacteristicly disheveled state. I'm going to have some great fun this week!! I miss my boys (Hi Daron, Hi Skip!), but I've been looking forward to this week for a while.... See you all when I get back!!!
Elisa

Beantown

2009-09-14T21:38:00.003-04:00

So after leaving my house about 9 hours ago, I'm no closer to Seattle than when I started. I'm in lovely Saugus, Massachusetts (slums of Boston) after an airline debacle of epic and Xanax worthy porportions. Here's the day in numbers:

Hours sat on Raleigh runway: 1.5
Runways operating at Boston airport: 1
Connections missed: 1
Number of gate agents spoken to in Boston: 16
Number of helpful gate agents: 0
Terminals directed and redirected to: 3
Pairs of sensible traveling shoes worn: 0
Pairs of cute, non-sensible shoes worn: 1
Hurt Feet: 2
Bag missing: 1
Hotel paid for with my hard earned $$ because delay was deemed "non-mechanical"... :1
Hours spent at overpriced hotel before 4am shuttle comes to retrieve me: 6
Chance of me flying with a Boston connection again: ZERO!!!
Chance of this ruining my excellent Seattle vacation: ZERO!!

That is, unless they fail to locate my bag. Then I'm totally screwed..... :(

Birthday!

2009-08-25T09:42:00.010-04:00

Ok, so I feel a little guilty posting about MY birthday, when I so conveniently skipped over Daron's birthday. I just had so much to post at that time, that it sort of slipped by. So yeah, yesterday was my birthday. I'm not going to tell you how old I am, because I feel practically decrepit. Here's a hint for you: My senior year of High School, the #1 song was "More Than Words" by Extreme. Yeah, go Google that. No, no... I'll wait...... So now that you know how old I am, I'll tell you that the birthday day was nothing special. Why? Because I did the grown-up thing, and went to work. Now, I know people that don't work on their birthday, and that's a personal choice. I just know that I need to save my days for really important things, like cross-country concerts, vacations, etc. I will tell you one thing that surprised me, and made me feel really good- the SHEER NUMBER of people that posted Birthday messages on my Facebook page. If you don't believe me, go check it out. But only if you're my friend and can see my page. If you're not my facebook friend, then it's a little awkward that you're reading this.

Here is a picture of my two very most favorite North Carolina nieces. The awesome Alexis, and the darling Olivia. See Olivia's face? She's still a little bummed because her campaign for an IPOD touch was (again) an epic failure. Her disappointment was apparent to everyone; even the soft red glow of the Target sign couldn't hide it. I tried to make her feel better by telling her that even with a full-time job, I couldn't afford the IPOD touch that I want, but it fell on deaf ears. I may not have gotten an IPOD touch, but that IS a fabulous new Coach bag on my arm. (Thanks for noticing!) My very generous husband and BFF/SIL Sherri, made sure that my birthday was a great one by giving me this lovely gem of a bag. Jealous much? You should be.

To cap off a lovely day, we met our friends at Coldstone for some birthday ice cream. Coldstone is as delicious as it is overpriced. Sort of like Coach bags, but whatever. Sarah and Jon, Rebecca and Mark, Daron, Sherri, Jenny, and Sofia were all there. It was a lovely night to sit out on the patio, and have a bunch of laughs with some really great friends. They even sang loudly enough to embarrass the crud out of me. Thanks for that, guys.

I guess the bottom line is this: Birthdays come and go. We get older, we get a little slower, the clothes fit a little tighter. But I've discovered that the friendships are sweeter, the laughs are deeper, and the memories are more precious. We appreciate more, we forgive easier, we love deeper. My 20's were more fun than I can ever tell you. My 30's have surpassed them, with fun to spare. Thank you to everyone, my friends and family, that have made each year better than the next!

Global Warming? ...Naaa, it's just the Barnes Family

2009-08-18T09:41:00.010-04:00

Global warming has a devastating effect on marine life. But global warming is nothing compared to the crimes against nature that were committed at Shucker's Oyster Bar last night. The Barnes family descended on aforementioned oyster bar, and proceeded to decimate entire populations of shrimp, crabs, oysters, and calamari. (If there's a mini-corndog population out there, then the Barnes boys probably took care of that one as well...)

Daron and I had our 7th wedding anniversary yesterday, and the whole family helped us celebrate. People were surprised that we would have our entire family come eat dinner with us, but I think it's oddly appropriate. These are the people (along with MY family) that I will be spending eternity with, so I better like hanging out with them. When I married Daron, I married into the whole Barnes experience, and all the madness and calamity that comes with it. Needless to say, it's been the best (and most fun) 7 years of my whole life.

Let's get back to my favorite part: CRAB LEGS. I spend the better part of yesterday dreaming of crab legs, and waffling back and forth- should I get 1 lb? 1.5lbs? Start with two orders of .5lbs? Ask for another .5lb if I still have room? These are the important questions you MUST have ironed out ahead of time. Plus, I've got to support my boys on the Northwestern, so that they will continue to provide me many more seasons of Deadliest Catch entertainment.

If you don't think that I'm serious, this IS a photo of the Northwestern from one of my trips to Seattle. Yes, I saw it in person. And YES, it was awesome.

Ok, let's get back to the reason for this post. Our anniversary. We're not big on public displays, or general shmoopyness. But I will say this: Daron has made me laugh every single day of the last 7 years. He's my best friend, and the first one I want to tell everything to. Thanks for picking me out of a crowd of very lovely girls. As my old hairdresser "Big Rose" used to say... "you gotta take a CHANCE on love!" We sure did, and man did we hit the jackpot!

Dog Ramblings

2009-08-13T09:10:00.006-04:00

Dear Mom and Dad,

Just a quick post to let you know that I’m glad you let me come to live with you. Six years ago this summer I was born, and came to live at the Hacienda. You found me at the flea market, and Mom said I was the cutest one. I heard her say it! When Mom says that “puppy picked us,” it’s true. And Dad, I’ve heard you say that you got totally ripped off that day, but it’s not true! I was a total bargain. Think of all the love and home defense I’ve provided over the years. Yes, I know that I have my moments. I can’t help myself from eating the wild onions that grow in the backyard, and give me horrendous and uncontrollable gas. And you know that it’s my duty to bark, even though the doorbell is only on TV. Yes, I do know that I have a habit of “leaving my mark” on totally inappropriate places. (Like Dad’s garage). I only do it to teach you a lesson. The lesson that, “ I will not be ignored!” Wow, that was very Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction of me, but you know what I mean. I appreciate that mom leaves the TV on for me, so I don’t get lonely downstairs. I also know that the endless supply of cookies, and chewies, and snacks have made me obese, and that Mom loves me anyway. More belly to scratch, right? BTW, that wasn’t cool that the vet called me “Fatty McGee.” Not cool at all.

Dad, I know you care deep down. Every time you call me “Fats” or “Tubby” or “Stinkzor” that you really like me. You wouldn’t bounce that ball that practically gives me a seizure if you didn’t! Unless you ARE trying to give me a seizure… but I’m going to take the high road, and insist that both my parents love me. But most especially, mom. So thanks for all the good times…

Peace out people. These squirrels aren’t going to chase themselves.

Skipper

Coldplay Concert.. (Or Wild Kingdom Part Two)

2009-08-07T10:32:00.011-04:00

Last night Daron and I went to the Coldplay concert here in Raleigh. Let me just say that they were PHENOMENAL. I really love concerts, and really love music, and these guys are just almost at the top of my list for seeing live (RUSH and Pink Floyd have them beat, but that just goes without saying.) I LOVE LOVE LOVE Coldplay, and am silently wondering why I let myself be convinced that lawn seats would be ok. After all, when we saw them in 2005, we had lawn seats. We had a great time... That's where Daron's and my "song" became "our song." Great memories of that night. (No, I'm not telling you which song.)

So... that being said, how does this:

Become THIS:

An excellent question, and one I'm not able to answer. I suspect it involved large quantities of intoxicating substances, both imbibed and inhaled. The average demographic involved here was 21 (barely) and caucasian. I will say this though, everyone was having a ball. The crowd energy was fantastic. Everyone was dancing and singing, and just having a good time.

So yeah, while I love the crowd, it's getting a bit overwhelming. I think I'm going to spring for real seats when Coldplay comes back around again.

Because this:
...Is simply too far away!! One cool thing about the show, the band actually ventured out into the lawn seats, and played two songs! I'm sure the seat holders were cheesed, but it was cool for the rest of us. However, venturing out into the cheap seats is a sure-fire way to cause pandemonium and/or stampede. They got about a hundred feet away from our position, but we didn't dare move closer. It was just too crazy. So here what that looked like from our spot:

Pretty cool! So all in all, a great show. At the end, they were even gracious enough to give everyone a FREE CD when leaving the show. 20,000 people, and a free CD. It's 9 live songs taken from one of their previous Viva shows, and super cool. Man, I love these guys. If you haven't seen them live, GO!!!

Wild Kingdom

2009-08-05T10:23:00.008-04:00

Monday, 9:45PM: Sherri drops me off from an evening of important errands. TJMaxx, Ross, BedBathBeyond, etc. Got a cute apron (so domestic of me), a paper towel holder (really? I made it 36 years w/o a paper towel holder?), and this little metal thing that you wash your hands with that takes the garlic/fish/onion smells off your hands. (Pure genius!) But that’s another post. Or another blog. Maybe I need a shopping blog… But back to the story…

Monday, 10:00PM: Frantic call from Sherri.

“Daron, there is a BAT in my DINING ROOM, and you need to get over here NOWWW…” I asked her if she sang “Born Free” to it, but she didn’t think that was very funny. At all.

Monday, 10:15PM: Daron and I walk into Sherri’s living room with fishing net in hand. She’s perched on the couch, like the bat is going to nibble her toes or something, and has complete line-of-sight with the perpetrating bat in the dining room. She’s holding her defensive weapon of choice (broom),and is ready for combat. But only if assaulted.

“Daron, it only takes SEVEN minutes to get here on 540, and it took you TWELVE!! Where were you!!???” Daron shakes head. It takes inner strength to be brow-beaten by TWO bossy women in your life.

Daron and I head into the dining room, were we find the most adorable little brown bat all snuggled in for the night in Sherri’s curtains. I’m ready to take his close-up, when Daron informs me that he’s “had shots for this” and I hadn’t. Good point. I back off to a respectable distance, and begin to document the removal. Which took all of 3 minutes. A less competent Wildlife Biologist might have taken at least seven, but this man is an expert at his craft!

I always thought bats were squeakers, but this one was ANGRY. He sounded like hissing cat. I get crabby when people wake me up, and this bat was no exception. Daron expertly gets him out the front door, partially in a shoebox, where he intends to set him free to the night air. He’s intent on going, so I only had a split second to take his picture before he took flight.

The night wouldn’t have been complete without an exhaustive, but reassuring search through the attic, which thankfully and predictably produced nothing. Poor Sherri. She still didn’t sleep a wink that night…

Is that a Bald Spot?

2009-07-27T15:30:00.005-04:00

So once in a while, life throws something at you that is farrrrrr more entertaining than anything they could make up on TV. This morning held one of those moments for me. Let me set the scene: At the office I have a sweet little old man that cleans the joint on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Because Vance is the best cleaning man on the planet, he came in Friday night to buff the floors. Just for fun. Monday morning, I walk in and find this little note on my desk:

Any thoughts on what he found? …He found someone’s orphaned weave in one of the exam rooms!!!

This entertains me on a number of levels:

My scream was heard around the entire office. We only had two patients checked in so far, so explanations weren’t too extensive. (I think my shock came from living in an insulated caucasian world where our hair stays on our heads (for the most part), and only our fashionable AA sisters can get away with adding and subtracting length at will. Frankly, I'm just not used to seeing it on my desk..)
How do you not know part of your hair has fallen out???!! I asked Lyndel, my resident authority on all things African American, and even she was grossed out. She says they really hurt to put them in, so it would stand to reason that one coming out would be traumatic as well? If you DID know it fell out, why are you gonna leave it on my floor?
Granted, Vance is like 93 years old, but he didn’t know what it was??? Maybe if you grow up out west, and don’t mix with a large African American community, I could see not knowing what it was right away. BUT WE LIVE IN THE SOUTH! There is an African Nubian Queens Hair Braiding on many a Raleigh corner.
Why leave it on MY desk? Granted, my excruciatingly honest cleaning man asks permission to take a water out of the fridge, so maybe he was afraid someone would come looking for it? Didn’t want to be the one to throw away someone’s personal effects?
I’ve seen some beautiful hair braiding out here, but this one was kind of nappy. Like, bought the kit at Sallys, and let your boyfriend’s friend’s sister do it kind of nappy. And before you get upset at me for being insensitive and/or flip about another race, I'm going to remind you that hair of any kind is gross, and even digging my own hair out of the drain makes me want to ralph!
This event was so blog-worthy, I'm putting off the Daron-Birthday-Post until I've recovered.

The Second 1st Annual Barnes Family Campout

2009-07-09T10:02:00.017-04:00

I say the second, because we tried this last year with disastrous results. A torrential downpour mixed with hurricane force winds made us all run for cover, and call it a night. Not to mention demolished tents and soggy bedding. And a wet dog. Nobody wants to camp with a wet dog.

This is what we affectionately dubbed "Tent City."

Daron showing off his mad skills on the Canjo. Yep, it's made out of a tin can. And hopefully you enjoy favorites such as "Dueling Banjoes," "When the Saints Come Marching," and my personal favorite, and oddly out of season "Silent Night." Because, these are the only songs he knows.

Side Note: No you're not crazy. There DOES seem to be a Sheetz cup hidden in every post on our blog. (See post "Gone Country")

Our campsite seemed to be very popular...
This one I like to call "posteriors for posterity." See the concerned look on Sherri's face? She knows that in no time at all a picture of her derriere will be circulating cyberspace at record speed. Just one of the many services I provide.

Are there any fish left in Grandpa's pond? The kids caught all the fish, and the adults didn't catch anything. Maybe because we were busy pulling hooks out of fish every 4.3 seconds

Chilling over a game of Uno, and a new member of the family. To Alexis' delight, Randy and Sue relented and let the boys get a dog. A sweet little beagle they call Titan. Skip wasn't sure what to think about him, but they were buddies in no time. As long as the puppy knew his place! The weather was gorgeous, and not hot at all. And just enough breeze to keep the bugs off!

All in all, a really fun time. Everyone was a good sport about sleeping in tents, even though we didn't get much sleep. Everyone thinks it's quiet in the country, but noooooooooooooo. Between the fox that kept barking at us in the middle of the night, Jeremiah the bullfrog, the pack of wild coyotes in the woods, and the 6 million tree frogs, we didn't get a wink of sleep. We broke camp around noon, and made it home just in time for a nap!

Humble

2009-06-28T16:23:00.003-04:00

Read this super sweet email from my brother in law Jared, to his family- I was really touched that he would do this for us:

Hey there family. This is an email to enlist your help. Next weekend we are taking part in a fast for Catherine's sister and Brother in law. They are trying to adopt and have been on the LDS family services waiting list for 6 months. They live in Raleigh North Carolina and will make awesome parents. They really are great people. Anyway, I just thought I would spread the word that if you know of any mother wanting to give up her baby, Daron and Elisa would make great parents. They are open to White or Asian, boy or girl. If you would like to see them they have a blog for birth mothers and anyone else interested: DaronandElisa.blogspot.com Anyway, I hope all is well, and thanks for taking the time to read this email.

Take care, Jared

P.S. Feel free to forward this to any other family members or persons you feel inspired to send it too. Thanks again.

Now I'm terrified. Not to expand the search, but because I just realized that my last post was of Daron clutching his stomach outside of the decrepit toilet. Not exactly what you want your family's extended family seeing first.

Here's a plea of my own:

Dear Jared's family,

PLEASE READ FURTHER, AND DON'T LET THAT ONE POST PAINT TOO MUCH OF A PICTURE. We're really not that bad, I promise. (inject big sigh by author)

Love, The Barnes Family

For Your Weekend Entertainment...

2009-06-26T09:07:00.003-04:00

A picture is worth a thousand words. Send me a comment and tell me what you think is happening in this picture... I'll post later with the results!

Adventures in Yard Sales

2009-06-22T15:33:00.008-04:00

We play a game with our Young Women called High/Low. Each girl has to tell one “high” point of their day, and one “low” point of their day. I thought it would be fun to play High/Low as I tell you about the horrendous yard sale we hosted on Saturday.

High: Cleaning out the house, getting a room prepared for a nursery.

Low: Selling your hard earned possessions for pennies on the dollar. Or just literally, pennies.

High: The look on someone’s face when they find a treasure in your pile of random junk

Low: Parting with items that hold certain good memories for you.

High: Making $400+ dollars to add to the adoption fund

Low: 96 degrees, and the hottest day of the summer so far

High: Conning people to take your worthless junk, just because you have a “free” pile. Why is that item suddenly attractive, now that you’ve moved it from the .25 cent pile to the free pile?

Low: Expert yardsalers that think they can trick you by counting backwards in Spanish. Quince does not come after Diecisiete. HELLO. GREW UP 30 MILES FROM THE BORDER people… I’m just sayin.

High: Helping the YW earn money for camp by selling snacks and cold drinks to parched travelers. Unfortunately, I think our biggest customers were my nephews. Thanks Sue for bringing them, and for the deep pockets.

Low: Watching people paw through your possessions, and then throw them carelessly back on the ground. Yes, I understand that it’s sitting on a piece of cardboard in my driveway, but until i have your $1 in my hot little hand, it’s still MINE. Be respectful!

High: Moving most of our merchandise in the first hour. (7-8am) Weird and astonishing that people get up that early for yard sales. But not really, because I’ll get up earlier than that for Black Friday, or a really good sale.

Low: The irritation of what I call the yard sale “vultures.” These are the people that know you start at 7am, but park on your lawn at 6am so they can watch you put stuff out. They don’t play by the rules, and they don’t care that they are bothering you. If any of my readers are guilty of this crime, STOP NOW!!

High: The excellent response we got by posting on Craigslist.

Low: The excellent response we got by posting on Craigslist. I.E., Don’t email me about specific items. If I wanted to barter with you over email, I would have just POSTED IT ON CRAIGSLIST in the first place. Duh. (See vultures comment above)

High: Watching the fella drive up on his riding lawn mower to shop. See picture.

Low: Waiting for the phone call from my neighbor, asking me why I allowed her sons to carry off 3 shopping bags of “free” items. These items included (no joke) 1 cat figurine, a ceramic pumpkin, 6 obsolete D&D games for Windows 95, two CD towers, Christmas garland, and my personal favorite: the SL Temple cake topper. Those kids were the best.

Our biggest thanks to everyone that helped, donated, contributed, or stopped by to give moral support- The good news is that we've decided never to do this again!!! From now on it will be Craigslist, Goodwill, or the Raleigh landfill. HOORAY.

Mullis Family Reunion

2009-06-11T10:12:00.004-04:00

Last Saturday, we had the opportunity to travel as a family to Taylorsville, NC for the Mullis Family Reunion. Daron’s dad grew up in this mountain town, and a lot of his extended family on his mother’s side never left. It was a good chance to meet a lot of really nice people, and have a LOT of food. It was really beautiful up there, and the reunion was held across the street from the Baptist church where a lot of the family is buried. We strolled through the cemetery, and it didn’t escape my notice that there were only about 7 names in the whole cemetery. When families grow up and never leave, there tends to be some mingling of the bloodlines. Not that there’s anything bad about that, but it must make doing genealogy a nightmare. Just something that I’d never thought of before. We didn’t know many people, but Daron’s parents had a ball showing off the assorted grandchildren, and “oh yeah, this is my son/daughter Sherri/Daron/Randy.” Little known fact: Adult children are not as brag-worthy as beautiful grandchildren.

Even better was taking a ride through the hills with Daron’s dad, and him showing us all the places he used to play and fish, and get into mischief.

Strolling through the cemetery...

The house where Grady was born.

It's amazing that it's been sitting there undisturbed for all these years.

Memorial Day - Part Two

2009-05-28T10:07:00.006-04:00

After returning home Sunday night from Columbia, we decided to spend Memorial Day (Monday) out on the water. Daron’s friend Don came up from Goldsboro for the day, and the three of us loaded up and went fishing at Lake Raleigh. We took the boy’s two kayaks, and our little fishing boat. Everything was great for about 15 minutes, and then the bottom fell out. Big black clouds hung low overhead, and a torrential downpour soaked everything. Fortunately, I had thought to bring a little red umbrella, so the top half of me was nice and dry. I did have soggy britches for the rest of the day, but it wasn’t bad. Ohhhh, how they mocked me for that umbrella! Even better was watching everyone on the lake head for shore, and pack up. There was one couple especially that was fun to watch- They looked like they might have been early 20’s, and the girl looked like she was dressed up for a day on the Riviera. Big black designer sunglasses, little black sundress. She probably anticipated a day of being rowed around by Prince Charming, and getting some sun in the process. They didn’t last 20 minutes on the lake. He gave her a sweatshirt, and heaved the boat back on the truck all by himself. We nicknamed her Princess. All in all, we didn’t catch anything. Once the downpour passed, it was beautiful. A nice breeze kept things from getting too hot, and it was a very relaxing day. I even got in the kayak! I’m sorry for mocking you, little kayak. You were tons of fun!

I love the above picture because:

A. It's got my favorite fishing buddy in it.

B. In the back, you can faintly make out Princess watching Prince Charming try to figure out how he's going to get the boat out of the back of that truck all by himself. This is pre-downpour, in case you didn't know.

Launching the kayaks... See the black cloud in the background?

Memorial Day - Part One

2009-05-28T09:39:00.006-04:00

For Memorial Day weekend, we took a trip south to Columbia, SC to visit the Crutchfield family. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that Jack is honestly my OLDEST friend. We played together as kids, and ventured into Kindergarten together. We both grew up in the desert southwest, and still only live 3 hours apart! I lost touch with Jack over the last couple years, and was lucky that he looked me up on Facebook! To all you Facebook haters out there (Daron), here’s a redeeming fact for you: Old friends find each other again, and good things happen!!**

We really had a blast. The spouses met each other, and Jack’s daughter Megan kept us all entertained. There was a trip to the lake, a picnic, reminiscing over pictures, a really nice dinner out, an even BETTER dinner in, and a session of Guitar Hero that still has my fingers arthritic. We have plans to go back soon- hopefully with less rain this time.

**the author cannot endorse any “good things” that happen when rekindling relationships with people on Facebook that happen to be ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. Yes, my mother will remind me that I smooched Jack in the back seat of the bus once, but we were five, and I think the statute of limitations has run out on that one.

**Yes, the picture is off center. That's what happens when the 7 year old takes the picture!
P.S. I thought Jack's wife Becky was the most darling person I'd ever met.

Double Take...

2009-05-14T14:11:00.002-04:00

“My skulls have bugs..” Excuse me? “My skulls… I pulled them out to take them to scouts tonight, and bugs got in them!”

At precisely 9:30 last night, my dear husband informs me that his precious animal skull collection has been invaded by some small, unseen creatures. As the wife of a Wildlife Biologist, you would think that I would be used to such things by now. Mostly I am. What I wasn’t prepared for was the sad, dejected look that came with the knowledge that his little friends had been victimized so thoughtlessly. I was tempted to sing “The Circle of Life” to him, but I thought better of it. Also, I’m somewhat distracted by the thought that I can’t remember if he’s been storing aforementioned skulls INSIDE the house (along with the offending bugs?), or outside in the garage where I could care less. As I try to cheer him up with the knowledge that “they probably didn’t feel a thing,” I’m told that the nasty blue towel they were so lovingly wrapped in is now lying smoldering on my laundry room floor. Lovely. (How does one wash a buggy towel? Borax? Clorox? Straight in the trash? Yep, that’s what I’m thinking.. the outside trash..)

I’m also bothered by the fact that if Daron were ever detained for questioning, the fact that we have a fully functioning skull collection at our house would implicate him in about 2700 unsolved crimes. I’ve seen enough NCIS to know that skull collections may not equal motive, but they’re not exactly evidence that will speak to your upstanding character either. Promise me that you will all be witnesses for the defense, should the time ever come…

Tender Mercies

2009-05-13T11:18:00.004-04:00

You know how sometimes when you’re feeling blue, a little thing can cheer you up? Last Friday, I received a surprise in the mail that made me feel loved and appreciated. And it couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time! I usually greet Mother’s Day weekend with an eye roll, and maybe a couple of feigned dry heaves for effect. Yeah, not very gracious, and nobody likes a sore loser, blah blah blah. But Mother’s Day’s are insufferable. (If you’re a birthmother reading this, help make my next Mother’s Day wonderful by giving me your baby!! I will make it worth your while!!**) So entering into the Mother’s Day weekend, I’m feeling blah, but I’m scheduled to go have fun at my friend Heather’s house, for a “girls night” party. Heather usually has me peeing my pants within about 35 minutes, so I’m cautiously optimistic. I’ve been wearing one of my favorite necklaces all day, and more than once lamented the fact that I didn’t scavenge further in the Kohl’s clearance rack to find the matching bracelet. Yes, I’m a bracelet-matches-the-necklace kind of girl. I like symmetry when I accessorize, and looking like I planned it that way. Which I did. And I do. But I digress. So ANYWAY, I’m headed out to the car to go to Heather’s house, and remembered that I didn’t check the mail. When I do, I find a curious padded envelope from Washington State. I’ve never known padded envelopes to bring bills or bad news, so I’m automatically excited! It’s from Shelly, my sister-in-law that was trusting enough to let me watch her sweet Lucy for a week while she was in Ethiopia. Inside is a bracelet, (I’m assuming from Ethiopia) that MATCHES MY NECKLACE PERFECTLY!!! I walk back into the house to show Daron my good fortune, and marvel at the good karma that brought me my super groovy new bracelet. (Not to mention a gift card to Target!! Thanks Shelly!!) So that was my tender mercy. A perfectly timed gift that instantly cheered me up. So yeah, maybe my baby parts are as useless as Paris Hilton, but at least my family loves me and appreciates me.

** I’m certain that LDS Family Services will not be impressed that I've resorted to bribery... We can be discreet, right? :)

Girls just wanna have fun!

2009-05-12T10:57:00.005-04:00

Being YW President is a tough job. I'm not even going to lie about it. There are all kinds of things that I lay awake and worry about. I have great ladies that I work with, and together we try our darndest to run a program that's fun and fulfilling. The right mix of gospel and goofy. At the risk of being released (Hi Bishop!), I will say that there are some activity nights that you throw churchiness to the wind, and let them have some fun. After planning our Service Scavenger Hunt, we broke out some Jenga. Look at these faces... Either they are faking fun to humor me, or they don't get out much.

PS. Is it blasphemy to use the Lord's hymnbook as a base for your tower?

Hobbies

2009-05-05T13:18:00.004-04:00

Some people like to kayak. Some people like to fish. What happens when you combine the two? May I present for you viewing pleasure, the inaugural sailing of Daron's new kayak. Correction: Fishing Kayak. Kayaks are for tourists and tree-hugging adventurists. Fishing Kayaks are for the outdoorsman who isn't content to just torment the fish from the bank.

Ok, yes. I know you're looking at the remants of river muck on the bottom, and cursing me for lying to you. Truth is, I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed for the inaugural sailing, so pics of the SECOND inaugural sailing will have to suffice. Anyone else notice Daron's need to model the life preserver? I know we live close to the river, but the odds of our neighborhood flooding are precisely zero. However, should the heaven's open and pour nature's fury upon us, Daron will have the good fortune to be bouyant in the comfort of his own driveway. The neighbors have already deemed us the "weirdos that don't mow," and this isn't likely to improve our standing.

On a lighter note, let me reminisce for a moment. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating Daron's birthday at the Texas Roadhouse, where he was presented with his "Cough It Up For The Kayak" money jar. See how far we've come?

See Daron? I told you if you were a good boy, and saved your money you could really buy the plastic boat with your very own money. And surely you'll appreciate it more than if I had just bought it for you... Ahh people, there's a lesson here. After 30+ years, the boats are still plastic, and the thrill of a new toy just as sweet. Just exponentially more expensive.

Of one thing you can be sure...

2009-05-04T14:50:00.010-04:00

Here we witness what I like to call the "segregation phenomenon." I've mostly observed it in dinner party settings, where some grilled item (in our case, kabobs) is on the menu. Like moths to a flame, the boys will congregate at the grill to make sure proper grilling protocol is observed. Yes, it would be nice if they would come enjoy appetizers with the girls, but they can't. Their DNA simply will not allow something to be grilled unattended.

Friday night we had the Lung's, the Rabideau's and the Curtis' over for dinner. We laughed, we played games, and generally had a raucous time. Notice the classy red dixie cups? We went all out. You can be sure when you come to dinner at our house, that we don't play around.

The photos above are a little tribute to Mark Curtis, and all the weird stuff he's eaten at other people's houses. For some reason, everyone blogs a weird photo of him either eating something on a dare, or in our case, enjoying some pineapple in a lascivious manner. Either way, if he wants to go down in 4th ward as the eater-of-weird-things, that's fine with me. We'll keep inviting them over out of pure entertainment value! Your dinner guests really should have blog-potential, and ours didn't disappoint! Thanks for a fun evening, you guys!!!

I need a vacation after my vacation

2009-04-23T09:39:00.008-04:00

Ugggg. I really do feel that way today. After a wonderful week+ in Seattle, I'm back in Raleigh, and not feeling very motivated. I'm still swamped at work, behind on YW stuff, Girls Camp coming up, and a filthy house that hung in limbo while I was off playing. And I can't seem to find the energy to pick it all up again. And I miss that little Lucy! I miss plucking her out of her crib at 6am sharp, and warm bottles, and making her laugh. And the way she would dance for you every time music would come on. You moms really have the good life, you know it? I know it's hard for you sometimes, but I really loved the little taste I had. Such an angel.. Here's a picture I took of her picking dandelions with her dad at Snoqualmie Falls:

Anyway, I'm glad to hear that Shelly is back safe and sound. I know that Daron was definitely ready for me to come home. Nine days of eating his own cooking might have scarred him for life. Dr. Carr asked me if he was skinnier when I got back, and I think that he might have been. The dog looked skinnier too, now that I think about it. It sure is nice to be needed! While I was in Seattle, my sister-in-law Sherri came and met me out there. It was her first trip to Seattle, and also her birthday weekend. For her birthday, I took her to the Space Needle, where we took these fabulous pictures:

We got some great shopping in (thanks Bellevue! thanks H&M!), and the weather was wonderful for the most part. I think the day that we were at the Space Needle was the best though. All in all, a wonderful trip, but it's good to be home. It's nice to spend time with family, but there's something to be said for sleeping in your own bed. Am I right?

Happy Easter From Seattle!

2009-04-12T22:50:00.003-04:00

Happy Easter everyone! I made it to Seattle yesterday safe and sound. After a 5.5 hour flight from New Jersery, I made it here in one piece. And no delays! Poor Lucy keeps looking around for her mother, and at times seems a little confused. Fortunately, an 18 month old can be easily distracted. I've found that an M&M works great! Her dad is scheduled to go back to work tomorrow, so that will leave her and I flying solo. I think we are ready for it, though. It's been rainy and cold here- I'm really hoping that the weather improves so we can spend some time outside tomorrow. Lucy is a very funny baby, and has a pretty mischievious side too. We didn't quite make it though church. Really only about an hour, and then we were "done for the day." We're looking forward to Wedneday and Thursday when Sherri and Grammy make it here. The more the merrier! In the meantime, here's a video of our silly Lucy:

Seattle, Here I Come!

2009-04-09T13:33:00.003-04:00

For all you poor souls that have to return to work on Monday morning, I'll be thinking about you. For one anxious week, my brother and sister-in-law are entrusting their precious little Lucy to my care! Shelly is going to Ethiopia for two weeks on a humanitarian trip, and John can't take that much time off of work. So that's where Aunt Elisa comes in! I'm going to have to be on my toes, I hear Lucy has turned into quite the climber. Stairs, furniture, desk... I know Shelly will have a hard time being away from her, but I'm excited to be there with her for Easter. Plus, Seattle is just always a good time! H&M, I'll see you soon!

For those of you in Raleigh, someone check in on Daron once in a while. I would hate for him to starve just because he's forgotten how and where to buy groceries.

Arrrgh! Ignored again!

2009-04-01T15:24:00.004-04:00

Why the Rock Hall says: No Rush for you! Prog rock gets ignored by the selection committee every year. In the past few years, fans of Yes and the Moody Blues have started online petitions to get those groups a nod.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29903313/from/ET/

The article says it all. The fact that progressive rock gets ignored year after year is criminal. But for fans, it's almost a bittersweet blessing that these bands get less attention. It keeps ticket prices down for the rest of us! And the fact that this great music is created by THREE men should tell you something of the talent involved.

By the way, I have to give a shoutout to my parents who instilled in me a great love of music. All those years of music lessons, band concerts, orchestra concerts, really made us who we are today. When we were little, Mom liked Neil Diamond, The Statler Brothers, and Peter Paul and Mary. Dad liked old country like The Highwaymen, Waylon, and Willie. We also listened to a lot of Strauss and the other classical greats. With an early music education like that, how could we not love music? And what's even better is that music makes me so HAPPY. Some of the best memories that I will ever have have been at Rush concerts with my brother and my friends... Hopefully there will be many more! So whether or not Rush ever gets inducted (this is a VERY sore spot with fans, and has been for many years..) doesn't matter. The real fans know!

Old School

2009-03-22T20:42:00.004-04:00

Sherri made me promise I would post this to the blog. What you see below is Daron and Alexis re-enacting their HILARIOUS performance from church earlier. Daron is attempting to teach Alexis the finer points of the wave, and she proves to be a good student. But alas, in the hallway at church, you gather quite the audience, and not all of them approving. Also note the gratuitous use of "the robot" at the end.

Possibilities? It's possible I'm the best wife ever...

2009-02-20T20:15:00.004-05:00

Yep, just as I suspected. I'm the best. Tonight at dinner when I suggested we go hang out at Kohl's and cruise the sales racks, Daron launches into his best "abused husband" hysteric. Yep, predictible. Putty in my hands. "Here, if you get bored, you can entertain yourself with THIS:"

So I whip out this little baby from my purse, and watch my husband melt into a pool of giddy disbelief. He's only been wanting one of these for about 7 months now. I have to give a little shout out to Levi Greene and Jonathan Rabideau- if it weren't for them inspiring Ipod-envy in my husband during priesthood every Sunday, I would be $280 richer right now. But that's ok, because in the grand scheme of things, the boy is happy, and so am I. Maybe he will even let me play with it in Sacrament meeting. I'm sure they have an app for BOM out there somewhere... ;)

A Day Full Of Possibilities: Stay Tuned...

2009-02-20T13:07:00.002-05:00

As Daron was rolling around pitifully this morning, trying to make himself get up for work- I reminded him that it was FRIDAY!! Friday's hold all kinds of possibilities, and this Friday is special. The UPS man will be delivering something super awesome today- something sure to win me wife-of-the-year! So don't even try it ladies, I've got the corner on the good wife market!!! HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA. (Evil Laugh) So check back later, and I'll show you what Daron's awesome surprise was...... And don't say anything!!! Let him be surprised by the surprise!!!

....And now we wait

2009-01-22T15:52:00.003-05:00

For those of you that have been following our adoption story, I'm hereby letting you all know that our profile with LDS Social Services is now active! After several weeks of last minute adjustments, and photos not showing up, they've fixed our profile. It can now be viewed on the provident living website under the profile name DaronAndElisa .

At the risk of sounding serious for once, this is the part where we ask all of you to keep us in your family's prayers. I know that you have all been rooting for us, so don't stop now. We need all the help we can get. It's going to take the Lord's hand to deliberately steer someone into a family this crazy. Let's face it, on paper we don't look so good! :) But our hearts are in the right place, and we have to have faith that the Lord will bless us with our righteous desire.

Thank you to all who have been our support system. We love you!

Daron and Elisa

SNOW DAY!

2009-01-21T10:35:00.009-05:00

Make no mistake about it- the prospect of a snow day is just as exciting as an adult, as it was when you were a kid. Suddenly, the day ahead of you that was once filled with assignments and commitments is now yours to enjoy as you wish! Yes, I understand the ridiculousness of an entire city shutting down because nobody can drive in 3 inches of snow. But I don't care! I'll take it! My personal philosopy on snow days is that no actual housework, or daily chores can be done. This day off is a gift, and must be enjoyed properly! (Ok, secretly, I DID do two loads of laundry- but there was plenty of other housework that I ignored) I baked bread, made cookies, watched movies, had a nap, played in the snow with Daron and Skip, and made a wonderful dinner. Best of all was laying on the couch all warm and snuggly watching the snow fall.

I understand that by looking at these pictures, you might have a couple questions. So here we go: Yes, we ARE wearing matching Carhart snowsuit/coats. (Not fashionable, but VERY toasty)No, it's not mine, it's Daron's. Yes, it's warmer than my usual coat. Yes, that is a grown man making some sort of oversized, redneck snow angel. Yes, that is the same grown man wrestling with a small white dog. No, I doubt the dog enjoyed it very much. He did enjoy playing in the snow, however. He was frozen solid by the time we got him home. The dog, not the redneck...

Christmas 2008 - Ten Fabulous Memories

2009-01-08T13:19:00.016-05:00

1. Daron and "Esmerelda" (Anna's alternate personality) singing great made-up songs together... These two share an amazingly loose grip on reality that allows them such imaginative play.

2. One of my most fabulous gifts- Three new casserole dishes, and nowhere to store them. I remember when we moved into this house, I thought, "This kitchen is ENORMOUS!" Yeah, it's really not. Just bigger than the apartment kitchens I was used to.

3. Look closely- this is actually a scuffle in progress. Competition rears it's ugly head, as Hudson feels Tanner might have ripped more paper than he should have off of their "joint gift." All in all, watching kids open presents was such a highlight. I miss the pure unadulterated joy of opening presents with reckless abandon, and clinging to the hope that if you were REALLY good, Santa would deliver the goods...

4. Skipper opening his present from Aunt Sherri. Imagine his disappointment when he discovers that not only does his gift NOT contain anything squeaky or edible, but is actually a "Pedi-Paws." The only thing that this dog hates worse than unregulated squirrels in the backyard, is having his nails done. Just like a boy.

5. Uncle Jared- Every kid needs an uncle like Uncle Jared. Only a good sport like him would tote around a pack of wild, Nerf-gun toting hooligans around the backyard on a John Deere mower. Now this isn't just any John Deere mower- notice the absence of any grass on the property? This mower was procured by Grampy primarily for the entertainment of the Nerf-gun toting crowd mentioned above.

6. Tanner, Hudson, and Waste Management- To Tanner's delight, Santa brought him a garbage truck. He is fascinated by all things garbage and/or recycling. He even dressed up as a garbage man for Halloween. Jared and Catherine need to check and see if BYU has a Waste Management degree. It's got management in the title, that's respectable, right?

7. Lucy and Maj-lis: there's nothing better than growing up with cousins. I wouldn't know this personally, but I can imagine how much fun it would be. Getting reaquainted with these two little ladies was wonderful. They both have very laidback personalities, and hardly cried the whole week. Throw in that sweet baby smell right after their baths, and it was pure heaven.

8. Lindner Girls and Bubble Baths: Emma, Anna, and Leah threw caution to the wind, and decided to test the limits of Grandma's whirlpool tub. Lucy would have joined in, but was deemed "too short" to participate. Notice how all the bubbles are magically contained in the tub? Fast forward 10 minutes, and it was a completely different story. And mom thought we were washing all those towels because people were using them...

9. Grandma hit one out of the park when she purchased these two hoodie/vest combinations for Aaron and Josh. Normally a clothes purchase for an 11 and 9 year old is a risky gift move, only reserved for the really uncool, and out of touch gift giver. But Grandma must know something we don't- because these vests and hoodies were approved of whole-heartedly, and worn almost immediately. Good one, Grandma!!

10. The best gift of all. As mom put it so eloquently, "looking down the pew at church, and seeing what has come to pass over the last 35 years.." Couldn't have said it better. I love this picture.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-06T12:06:00.004-05:00

Its always at this time of year that I start to think of fresh starts, and things that I'm grateful for. Always at the top of my list seems to be my family. I know everyone says that, but I really do like these people! They are all so smart and funny, and I'm better for having them in my life. I'm also one of the lucky few that can say they love their husband's family as much as their own. Twice the blessings, and twice the love (and fun) to go around.

This year was the year for Huffman Family Christmas in Texas. We all converged on my Mom and Dad's house outside of Austin for a week of fun, and a level of mischief only Huffman's could achieve. Our family seems to grow each year. Babies continue to appear out of nowhere, and our numbers have now swelled to 19. How did a modest family of six have it's own population explosion? How I love these trips, when I get to snuggle the little ones, and savor all the little moments that I miss all year long. I also get to reconnect with my brother and sisters, and relive all the funny inside jokes from childhood. I often wonder if our spouses think we are crazy? (A little shout-out to Daron, Tod, Shelly, and Jared- these people were either brave or crazy enough to marry in to this madness, and truly are our better halves!) Only in our family can we have a heated political discussion, and transition with lightspeed into jokes and hysterical laughter. Often, and almost assuredly at someone's expense. "Growing up Huffman," as Rebecca calls it, has given us all thicker skin! I marvel at what different directions and places our lives have taken us, and our uncanny ability to resume the threads of our previous lives together with no conscious thought whatsoever. Thanks to my family for making this a great Christmas for me, and reminding me of what's important in my life.

Gone Country

2008-12-01T10:39:00.005-05:00

I'm posting these pictures to let you know that Team Barnes has gone country! Ok, truth be told, half of Team Barnes has always been country, but the other half? I guess after 10 years of living in NC, I've embraced certain aspects of country living. Like the fact that you can ride around with your dog in the back of the truck. Or you can pull into the Sheetz towing your 4-wheeler, and nobody even notices the fact that it's loaded with deer-corn. I had to take a picture of this: between the 4-wheeler/deer corn, the hound dog in the back, and Grizzly Adams sucking down a 44- I think I stumbled on to a redneck trifecta. Oh how I love North Carolina!

Rumble at the Cannery - Or Why I'll Never Move to Pineville

2008-11-13T11:16:00.004-05:00

Leave it to me and Eva (and our Relief Society president, Donna) to get into an altercation at the church cannery. It all started out innocently enough- we had an appointment, we show up for our appointment, we listen to a very inspiring introduction from Sister Polous about how we are fulfilling the Lord's commandment by being there... All very exciting. Once the closing prayer was finished, things quickly deteriorated into chaos! I've never seen such frantic, paranoid, every-man-for-himself behavior out of church members in my entire life! Apparently, there are two methods to using our cannery: You can show up and buy bulk off the shelves, or you can help everyone can their orders, and take home the exact number of cans that you want. We didn't sign up to help with cans, we were only interested in buying bulk off the shelves. Apparently us "bulk buying" people rubbed the "can" people the wrong way. There must be some sort of food shortage of Ethiopian proportions in the Pineville ward (where the heck is Pineville?!), because their self proclaimed pack leader "Lisa" proceeds to tell us that we're taking all their food. Excuse me? Come again? She accusingly eyes our cart full of bulk items, like we are hijacking it right out from under them. (Get away from my potato pearls!) She also eyes our stack of empty cans, and makes the snide comment about "good thing we're not rationing cans..." THEN..... "What are you doing, buying the rest at COSTCO?" Ooooooooh evil!!! She then proceeds to tell me that the 25 pound bag of milk that I have on the cart was meant for their ward. Oh really? Because I see it on my cart. Keep in mind, while this snarky woman is attacking us, there is absolute pandemonium going on. There isn't a lot of room in the cannery, but it's as if the "can" people were so afraid we were going to buy their food out from under them, that they just started canning FASTER. And then even FASTER!! How someone didn't lose a finger in the lid sealer, I'll never know. Needless to say, I can never move to the Pineville ward. Because, if I ever had to live the law of consecration with "Lisa," I think I might go hungry....

The Way We Roll - Part 2

2008-11-03T11:00:00.011-05:00

As I post this, I'm reflecting on some bittersweet moments- Moments like the one when you realize that you bragged A LOT about your costumes, only to be outdone by the Carliles ONCE AGAIN. Bittersweet, because I DID WIN best female costume, but Daron came home empty-handed... After all, he was sushi! And I was just a side of soy sauce. Albeit, I was the cutest, sauciest soy sauce there that night, but oh well. We took the trophy and ran, and will re-launch our assault next year. (Well, I ran..Daron couldn't run anywhere)... We had a blast, and the rest of the ward did too... Did I mention that the kids had fun punching the sushi in the stomach?

(Although I had many people tell me this was the "cut" for me (for real?), this is NOT my real hair, or color..)

Our biggest tactical error was underestimating the "cute factor" of working a baby into your costume strategy. Having the Carliles position their spawn as the "Slimer" to their "Ghostbusters" was brilliant...

Kim isn't pictured here, but her costume was exactly like Ken's. Nice job Carliles!

Notice the ridiculous amount of detail in the "pack"..... Is that a Sprite bottle?

These are our friends, the Rabideau's and the Lung's. Let me tell you, there's nothing funnier than a mormon kid throwing gang signs in the church. West Siiide!

In closing, I've got a little riddle for ya: If Japanese people eat Sushi, what does Sushi eat?? Hot Dogs apparently..... Who knew?

The Way We Roll - Part 1

2008-10-31T12:09:00.011-04:00

Daron and I have decided to jump headfirst into Halloween festivities this year. Our ward was lucky enough to get HALLOWEEN night at the church for our ward party and trunk-or-treat. The Young Men and Young Women are in charge of the spook alley, which we are putting together later this afternoon. The goal this year is more crying- there were only two criers last year. Those stats are way too low- especially when you have a YM president that looks forward to Halloween all year, like most kids look forward to Christmas. He and his wife typically have the very best costumes, so Daron and I decided to kick it up a notch this year. Winning the "Best Costume" award would be a stunning upset- Of course we will pretend to be humbled and awed by the honor...but we all know: We deserve it!! 'Cause Barnes' don't work this hard on something unless there is a handsome reward at the end, and/or bragging rights.

So, for your entertainment, I've posted pictures below of our costume construction for this year. Yep, we are going as Sushi and Soy Sauce. So come on Carliles!! Let's see whatcha got!!!

Look to the far left. You can see some weirdo's head inside the Sushi Roll. That's Barnes humor for ya...
So there you go. Part one of our epic Halloween saga. And it only took us until 1am last night to pull it off. Plus two trips to Wal-Mart... And no more black duct tape in ALL of Raleigh... I'll let you know how it all goes down...

State Fair! And Pumpkins!

2008-10-21T10:20:00.007-04:00

So it's that time of year again... the only time of year when it's totally worth it to fight the crowds, and pay outrageous prices for greasy food. Carnies! Mullets! Rickety Rides that barely pass inspection! The North Carolina State Fair!!!

A certain part of the fair is bittersweet for me- I once had aspirations of growing the state's largest pumpkin, and blowing those other guys out of the water! I could even imagine the headline: "Novice pumpkin grower sweeps record, angers and baffles longtime growers!"

Problem is, I tried to grow my pumpkin in the middle of the hottest summer on record, and I also abandoned it for a week when I went to Alaska. These anomalies (plus a dog that treated the vine like his own personal playground) didn't lend to any easy pumpkin growing experience. Needless to say, I had 200 feet of beautiful vine, and no pumpkin. It just wasn't meant to be. So, for your viewing pleasure, I have below a picture of me with this year's winning pumpkin (in the back at 612 lbs):

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. It's not THAT big. So let's put it in perspective- the next photo is the WORLD RECORD holding pumpkin (1689lbs!), grown in 2007 in Rhode Island:

So what do you do with a world record holding pumpkin after the fair? Yep, that's right. World Record pumpkin pie! 2020 pounds of it!!! Just kidding, it's not the same pumpkin. That wouldn't be a very dignified end befitting a world champion. But it's still funny....

Two Handsome Boys

2008-10-15T15:20:00.005-04:00

This might be my favorite picture yet- of my two boys!

Ok, funny story about the pictures below- (keep in mind, people that don't have children post about their pets. It's ok, we're allowed! You can comment on how pathetic we are behind our backs!) Anyway, so last Tuesday it was time for Skipper's regular 6 month Lube/Oil/Filter at the vet. He typically loves going anywhere in a car, but has this psychic sixth-doggie-sense when it comes to vehicle rides that result in a vet visit. Ok, so somehow he knew, and he barked THE ENTIRE way to the vet. Which isn't bad, except at stoplights, people were looking at me funny. Probably trying to figure out what the dressed up professional type looking woman is doing driving a truck with a redneck dog carrier, and an obviously distressed hound dog in the back. So we make it to the vet, and all is well. Except I didn't tell you the ironic part- on the way to the vet, I switch on 96.1 to drown out the canine cacophony in the back, and what's playing? Yep, Ozzy Osbourne's "Bark at the Moon." You can't make that stuff up.

2008-10-15T14:03:00.003-04:00

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!!!

Thanks to my sister Catherine, my employer has lost about 20 minutes of productivity from me today!! But that's ok, you guys were all dying to know:

10 years ago I...

1. Was just getting ready to move to NC from Albuquerque, NM
2. Would fly somewhere on a moment's notice, just to have fun with my friends. Or go to a Rush concert!
3. Was a good solid size 6 (or less). I've expanded inexplicably since then.
4. Only had one nephew. Now I've got 15 nieces and nephews!
5. Was a redhead. Like the Julianne Moore or Marcia Cross kind of redhead...

5 Things I'm really into right now:

1. Twilight Series- and looking forward to the movie next month
2. Music as always, currently in a rut of listening to Muse, Paramore, Porcupine Tree, Angels and Airwaves, and the new Coldplay. And Rush, of course. That's just a given.
3. Going to the gym every day after work.
4. Trying to get ready to run some sort of 5k. Haven't decided which one. Any recommendations?
5. Trying to be a good YW President, and not destroy the program in the process. Working with these girls is sort of like herding cats.

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire...

1. TRAVEL. Nonstop. Everywhere. And Daron and I would fly first class.
2. Pay off mine and my family's assorted debts. And totally pull an Oprah and buy everyone a new car. And buy Daron a really big, fat, brand new truck.
3. Go back to school, and study something frivolous and fun. Like Art History. (Apologies to all the Art History grads out there...)
4. Adopt 3 or 4 kids. I can't wait to be a mom.
5. Buy books and CD's. Thousands of them. Or maybe I would just buy a Barnes and Noble?

5 places I have lived...

1.) Moab, UT
2.) Mountain Home, ID
3.) Las Cruces, NM
4.) Albuquerque, NM
5.) Raleigh, NC

5 jobs I have had...

1.) Mainframe Operator, NMSU Computer Center
2.) Insurance Sales, Cigna Healthcare
3.) Software Trainer, MDWIN Corp.
4.) Business Manager, Carolina Women's Health
5.) Wow, Seriously? Only four jobs since 1991? That's got to be a record.

I tag...Rebecca. Because seriously, I've looked at all my friends pages, and they have already answered this silly thing.

Rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know that they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person that tagged you know when you've answered the questions on your blog.

Birthday Trip to Texas!

2008-09-08T09:39:00.014-04:00

I think surprises are the best- as long as they are not the bad kind, like flat tires and broken air conditioning. But surprises like flying to Austin to visit my parents and family are really great! A couple of weeks before my birthday, I decided to surprise my parents with a visit. My sister Catherine was in on it, and picked me up at the airport. We drove to my parents house, and I hid under a blanket in the back of her minivan. When Catherine told Dad that he needed to get a "box" out of the back, I about scared him to death! The next surprise was later that night, when we drove back to the airport again to pick up my sister-in-law, Shelly, and her daughter Lucy. I think it really meant a lot to my parents that she would come out to visit, even without my brother. We had a blast, just relaxing, visiting, shopping, and even a trip to Sea World! It was also great to see Catherine, Jared, and the kids, especially my new niece Maj-Lis.

Lucy, making new friends with baby Maj-Lis...... and eating her favorite- peas!

The boys playing with dad, and me holding my newest niece, Maj-Lis. What a sweet baby!

The girls having fun at Sea World. And Shamu!

Grandpa and Lucy spending some quality time together..

And finally, the phenomenon known as "Smiley Mylie"......and "Crabby Patty!"

What a great trip! I can't wait until we go back for Christmas. Besides, the kids always have more fun when Uncle Daron is there anyway....

Gluttony 101: aka Texas Roadhouse

2008-07-23T10:39:00.006-04:00

So, last night was the ACTUAL birthday, and six of us went

to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate Daron's 36th birthday.
We've got Daron, Elisa, Sherri, Mr. Terry, Eva, and Eric.

Normally, Daron and I try to eat pretty decent, and count points,

but Texas Roadhouse is NOT conducive to that.

But what the heck, it's a birthday, right?

Daron got some good loot: a Target giftcard from the Hahn's,

a Blockbuster giftcard from Mr. Terry, and a JAR-O-MONEY

thanks to me and Sherri!! (Daron is trying his hardest to save up $$

for a new kayak, and he's sooooo close he can almost smell the plastic!

But seriously, a $1000 for a plastic boat? I just can't imagine what

high quality plastic that must be...but anyway... a whole 'nother story)

Quite possibly, the highlight of the evening might have been when Mr. Terry bolted out of his chair and grabbed the nearest waitress to swing dance. For those of you unfamiliar with Texas Roadhouse, about once an hour the waitstaff all gather together to do a line dance down the middle of the restaurant. Apparently overcome by a moment of impulsiveness, Mr. Terry decides it's time to deploy the Terry Tornado. After finishing the swing dance, he launches into what I can only describe as an "I've got ants in my pants" full body heave. It happened so quickly, I only had time to snap one shot. Check out the look on the waitress's face. Priceless.

Yep, we can pretty much NEVER go back there..... :)

The Pedi-Egg Birthday

2008-07-21T12:54:00.008-04:00

It's not actually Daron's birthday until tomorrow, but these pictures are from last night's family party at the Plantation. He's the big 3-6!

Possibly the creepiest part of the birthday celebration was where Daron's sister Sherri gave him one of those weird "Pedi-Egg's" that you see on TV. They are sort of like a cheese grater, but for your feet, and Daron has been intrigued by them ever since they showed up on TV. I don't think he will actually be brave enough to use it, but hey... be careful what you ask for! Because Sherri will make sure you receive it as a gift in front of your entire family!!!

The week of RUSH

2008-07-08T09:28:00.015-04:00

About a month ago, I had the opportunity to fly to Seattle and spend some time with my brother and his family, as well as my best friends from growing up in Las Cruces. Some of us have known each other from gradeschool! The common goal was for everyone to attend the Rush concert at the Gorge, but it was awesome to get to spend a few days with my old friends. Interestingly enough, we all fell back into our old selves. All the old jokes were still funny, and it was like no time had passed at all.

We golfed 18 holes at McCormack Woods

We took a boat tour through the locks, and around the Sound..

We even saw my FAVORITE boat from the show "The Deadliest Catch"... The NORTHWESTERN!!! No, I didn't see any of the crew hanging out....

The highlight of the week, by far, was the RUSH concert. For most of us, we've seen them anywhere from 15-20 times, so you might consider us veterans. The venue they played at is called the Gorge, and it's literally out in the middle of nowhere. You either camp out that night after the concert, or you drive 2 hours back to Seattle in the middle of the night. We chose to camp!!!

The show was probably the best I've seen out of 17+ shows. The energy was great, and everyone was having a blast. I can't wait to get together with these guys again. Hopefully it will be sooner than later!!

A Jaunt to DC

2008-07-07T09:55:00.007-04:00

So last Thursday, Daron and I decide that we want to get away for the weekend. We are fortunate to live in Raleigh, where we are literally two hours from the beach, two hours from the mountains, etc. Washington DC is about 4 hours away, and neither of us had been to visit in a while. (Well, if you count the nightmarish night we had to spend in the DC airport sleeping on the floor, then we were just there last fall...) ANYWAY, a three day weekend seeing the sights was a much needed getaway. We even took my best buddy Sherri, (who just happens to be Daron's sister)...

We saw all of the monuments, the Natural History Museum, the Art Museum (my favorite!), the National Zoo, Arlington Cemetary, and shopped at H&M! I hate to admit that that was a highlight, but it really was... :) My brother John has expressed an interest in seeing DC, so we are looking forward to doing that with him and Shelly and Lucy.

At the World War 2 Memorial

Van Gogh's Self Portrait

A Rookie

2008-07-07T09:47:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I'm a total newbie at this blog thing. I watch my friends and families post to their blogs, and wish that I had fun things to post about. Well, I still don't, but that won't stop me from trying to get in on the fun.